


Falling

by emeraldsapphic



Series: The Falling Series [1]
Category: Gandrew - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Andrew Siwicki, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, sad garrett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23032399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldsapphic/pseuds/emeraldsapphic
Summary: Andrew's life was pretty normal until it wasn't anymore.Why did he suddenly want to be shipped with his friend?And why the hell was he scrolling through Youtube comments, looking for a person mentioning him and Garrett?
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts, Ryland Adams/Shane Dawson
Series: The Falling Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761343
Comments: 238
Kudos: 182





	1. Doubts and Worries

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me, starting a multi-chapter after so long.  
> Also, look at me introducing the first subplot in the first chapter.  
> Hopefully, it's good, I haven't thought about plots in a long time.

Andrew was very confused.  
He stared at the Youtube comments in front of him.

_"I ship Morgan and Andrew so much."  
"Oh my God, same!"  
"I thought I was the only one."  
"MY OTP." _

_Why?_

Why were fans so obsessed with his love life?  
Why did he even have fans in the first place?  
Andrew wasn't even that attractive, wasn't that the only thing that mattered for some people?

Andrew wasn't mad or anything, he was just curious.  
Both Morgan and him had acknowledged the situation, and there was almost no embarrassment between them.  
There was a bit of discomfort since Shane had brought up the fact that both of them were straight, and that they were, indeed, the only ones, but it was alright, they were cool with each other.

_"Don't worry, Andrew, people are shipping me with Garrett, too."  
_

__

_"Really?"  
_

__

_"Yeah, oh my God, haven't you checked the comments? I was laughing my ass off last night."_

Now Andrew was doing exactly that, but he didn't laugh at all, he didn't find it funny. 

_"Why were you laughing?"_  


__

_"I don't know, it's weird, with Garrett and all."_  


__

_"What's wrong with Garrett?"_  


__

_"Nothing's wrong with Garrett! But, he is gay, so... that'd be a bit awkward. Trust me, I'd know."_

Andrew had tried to brush that off.  
Why was he so mad that Morgan had laughed at the thought of them together?  
In his rational mind, it made sense: Garrett was gay, and she was, well, a woman. Plus, they were just friends, so it was quite normal for her to find it amusing.  
Still, though, the idea of someone not appreciating being with Garrett made his blood boil.

_Anyone should be honored to be shipped with him.  
Wait, what?_

Why did he suddenly want to be shipped with his friend?  
And why the hell was he scrolling through Youtube comments, looking for a person mentioning him and Garrett?

_What's happening to me?_

His lips twitched in a smile when he finally found that comment.

_"the way andrew laughs when garrett is around hits different."  
"ikr, they're so in love."_

_No, we aren't, but-_

But? There was no 'but'.  
The fact that Garrett was gay didn't mean that he had a crush on Andrew, and Andrew was straight.

_Right?_

Garrett was beautiful, sweet, lovable, and unique.  
It was hard for him to find flaws in his friend's behavior, and those that he found were either related to him being messy or always late.

It was painful for Andrew, thinking that no one could ever surpass the standards his friend had put for him.

Someone had told him not to settle for anyone who didn't make him feel as loved as his best friend did, but Andrew found it quite hard to believe he'd find someone like that.  
His best friend was simply unbeatable.

Andrew closed his laptop and checked the time: he was supposed to leave for work, he was meeting with the others at Shane and Ryland's to plan the next series.

He wondered what Shane had in mind this time.  
He also wondered why Garrett hadn't replied to him in the group chat they had, or to his calls, or at the door the day before.

He had brushed it off as Garrett being asleep, but he wasn't so sure anymore. He had been very weird two days prior.

_"What movie do you want to see?"_

_"Whatever you want, I don't mind."_

_"Oh, are you sure?"_

_"Yeah, Andrew, don't worry."_

_"What do you want to eat, then?"_

_"I am not really hungry, but, please, order whatever you want."_

_Andrew wondered if something was wrong with his best friend, and why he was staying five feet away from him on the couch when he always sat next to him_

_xxx_

He arrived at Shane and Ryland's house with a few minutes to spare.

He checked his phone again.  
He had texted Garrett to know if he needed a lift, but his notifications were empty. He felt his heart skip a beat.

_I hope he's ok._

He hoped to find his friend inside, laughing on the couch or in the kitchen, but disappointment ran through his veins when he found both spaces empty.

"Where's Garrett?"

"Oh hi, Andrew!" Ryland greeted him.

Andrew realized with a bit of embarrassment that he had forgotten to say hi; he had blurted out the question without thinking too much about it.

"Oh hi, Ryland. Is Garrett here already?"

"Oh, I don't know if he's coming."

"What do you mean-"

"Andrew, hi!"

The redhead turned around and saw Shane greeting him, wearing his new robe.

"Shane, Andrew wanted to know if Garrett was coming."

"Great question, but I have no idea."

"What?" Andrew felt his blood boil.

"He didn't reply."

"And you didn't get worried?"

"Well, no." 

"So you don't care?"

"I did not say that. Don't put words in my mouth." 

"How much has it been since you've heard from him?"

Shane started raising his voice, "Why is this suddenly a test?"

"Because it seems like you don't care!"

"That's not true, Andrew, Shane cares a lot about Garrett." 

"Do you, Shane?"

Shane looked at his eyes: he found determination, rage, and disappointment.  
His senses told him that something was off, and not to get angry at Andrew, because if he was so enraged, something had to be wrong.

"Please, sit down, and let's talk like normal adults, shall we?"

The realization hit Andrew in the face: he had been screaming at his boss.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."

"Please, tell me what's wrong." 

"Garrett is not doing great." 

"What happened?" 

"I am not sure, he doesn't want to talk about it. He's acting distant, and he's not replying to my texts, calls, or at the door. I am so worried, Shane. I am sorry I lashed out on you, but I am so scared for him. He hasn't acted like that since, well, since his uncle died last year. I don't want to see him like that."

"When was the last time you heard from him?"

"Two days ago; he seemed fine, but something didn't feel right to me."

"Was his house messy?"

"No, it was fine, but the atmosphere didn't feel right to me."

"So you have this gut feeling, right?"

"Should we go check on him?" Ryland spoke up.

"Yeah, I'll go change."

"Wait, Shane," Andrew stopped him before he could leave the couch, "before we go, I need to tell you something."

Shane looked at him and nodded.

"Garrett is having a tough time, and I don't know why, but I do want to talk to you about something."

"Go on."

"I am not sure, but I think he believes you can't stand him."

"What?"

"Yeah, that was one of the reasons I was so angry before. People in the comments have been noticing as well that you guys aren't as close anymore. One time he had a problem, I don't even remember what it was about, I think it was his car, and I was out of town so I told him to call you, but I remember that he said that he didn't want to bother you. I think he feels like a burden." Andrew noticed Shane's eyes saddening.

"I looked into it and people have been pointing out that at times you treat Garrett like he's the most annoying person on earth. If I have to be completely honest, sometimes it does look like that." 

Before Shane could reply he added, "Hear me out, I know you are joking around, that you don't find him annoying at all, that you love him, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded, and I really think Garrett needs that right now."

"Oh my God, oh my God, you're right. I've seen those comments, I know what you're talking about, but I never gave them enough attention. Oh my God, I'm such a bad friend."

"You aren't a bad friend, you just acted like one. We still have time to fix that, right?"

"Yeah, if he doesn't hate me."

"I am sure he doesn't." Andrew reassured him before thinking to himself, _I just hope he's ok._


	2. Confrontation and Reassurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this one!  
> If you did please leave a comment, it helps a lot.  
> Enjoy!

Andrew and Shane knocked on Garrett's door.  
Andrew was already biting his nails, scared that his friend wouldn't reply.

"Garrett," Shane spoke up.

"Shane?" A small voice came from the house.

The door opened, and the two visitors saw Garrett with no glasses, his eyes puffy and red, his hair a mess, wearing an oversized white t-shirt.

Andrew almost didn't recognize him, but when he did, his heart skipped a beat.

"Garrett?"

"Hi."

"Garrett, we need to talk," Shane announced.

"What- why? Did I do something wrong?" Garrett invited them in, worried.

"No, I need to apologize." 

"Do you guys need a bit of space?"

"Oh, there's no need-"

"Yes, please, Andrew," Shane asked him very politely.

"Can I come later, Garrett?" 

"Yeah, I guess."

Andrew left a lot less worried about the physical well-being of his friend but way more worried about his mental one.

He couldn't shake off the image of Garrett, looking tired but so natural, so exhausted but also so pretty.

He never thought he'd call a man pretty, but his friend looked almost ethereal with his messiness and innocence.

He knew Shane could help him, he just hoped it wouldn't take too long.

In the meantime, Shane and Garrett sat on the couch.

"I want to apologize."

"What for?"

"I've been such a shitty friend lately, I have not seen you in so long, and I didn't even bother to call or text you privately."

"No Shane, please-"

"Please, listen. I want you to know that I love you, you're my best friend, and I need to start acting more like it."

"No, Shane, don't say that. I love you, you don't need to change!"

"You're too nice, Garrett, but Andrew is right."

"Andrew?"

"Yeah, I need to give him credit. He lashed out at me today 'cause I have been acting like a jerk towards you. It's been so long since we have hung out together. I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I am ashamed and disappointed. I don't even deserve the way you're talking to me now. If it were me, I'd be very enraged. I am so sorry, Gare."

"Andrew? Mad?"

"I know! He was right, though. I have been acting like a complete shithead. I am so relieved he was present for you when I wasn't. He cares so much about you."

Garrett sighed.  
"Sometimes, I do feel like you guys find me annoying. It's usually you and Morgan, but it's no bìg deal. It's not like I hate you guys. It's just that sometimes I am scared to be excited about stuff. It's not always fun, feeling like a baby."

Shane bit his lip. "I will never do that again, I will never make you feel like you're annoying."

"No, Shane! That's why I didn't want to talk about it. I don't mind the jokingly mean comments or the banter or fat jokes. I don't care; I just wish those jokes weren't the only things we said to each other. I miss my best friend, you know?"

"I get it, and I am so sorry. I miss you, too."

The two men hugged for the first time in so long, both proud to have solidified their friendship.

"I gotta call Andrew now." 

"Yeah, I will give him the day off to hang out with you today, but tomorrow you're hanging out with me."

"Oooh, interesting. What are we doing?" 

"It's a surprise."

"You and your surprises, oh my God!" 

"Don't worry. You'll love it. Also, in a week, we're filming another haunted video, so be prepared."

"Uhh, exciting!" Garrett's eyes lit up. 

Shane laughed and added before opening Garrett's door, "Listen, whenever you want to talk about anything, I am here for you. I love you."

"Love you, too. And, thanks, I needed this conversation."

Shane winked at him before letting Andrew in.  
"Andrew, you have the day off, don't worry about it. I'll text you the info about the new series. You two have fun," he was about to leave when he added, "not too much fun, though!"

Garrett and Andrew both laughed at Shane, but the latter stopped almost immediately. 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Fine."

"Garrett."

"I'm serious! I'm grateful for what you did."

"It was nothing!" Andrew looked at Garrett again. He had put on his glasses and tried to fix his hair, but he still had that rough look.  
Andrew meant in the most appealing way possible.

"It means a lot to me."

Andrew sat down next to Garrett, "I am glad it helped you. It did almost cost my job."

"Did you really get that angry?"

"Hhh, yeah."

"Come here." Andrew fell on the sofà in between the arms of his friend.

"I missed you yesterday. Where were you?"

"I was with my mom, sorry."

"She came to visit?"

"Yeah, she was worried for me."

"Mood."

Garrett laughed again.  
"What do you want to do?"

"Let's watch a movie."

"Great, can we watch Infinity War?"

"Oh my God, Garrett. Haven't you seen it a thousand times already."

"Yeah, but Chris Evans!"

Andrew sighed, "So you just watch it for Chris Evans?"

" _No!_ I mean- We _were_ robbed of Chris's beard for years, but I also love the movie."

Andrew laughed.

"Don't be jealous, Andrew, I think your beard looks just as good as Chris Evans's."

Andrew knew Garrett was joking, but still, somehow, his heart started beating faster at the compliment, in fact, Andrew was a bit jealous...

_What are you thinking?_

Garrett was acting normal again, perhaps his talk with his mom and Shane had done him good. Andrew wished his presence was equally as important.

_You don't matter that much to him._

Almost as a cue to object his thoughts, Garrett smiled at him like he had read his mind, then he got up to put on the movie, and when he sat back, he was even closer to Andrew.

Garrett's head was leaning back, his arm was on the seatback of his couch, almost wrapped around him.  
Andrew felt the need to move closer to him.

Garrett noticed his friend's discomfort and looked at him curiously.  
Andrew moved closer to him, not thinking too much about it, anticipating any word from his friend.

He didn't know why, but he felt the need to look at Garrett.

Were his eyes always so blue?  
Were his lips always so enticing?

_WHAT is happening to me?_

Andrew managed not to sigh loudly, and he let his head rest on Garrett's shoulder.

He looked up to his friend to ask for approval, and he was met with a small warm smile.

Focusing on the movie was going to be a challenge.


	3. Friends and Pride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, updating every day!  
> Enjoy!

Andrew woke up early the next morning.  
He looked around and saw his friend, still asleep, next to him.  
Usually, when Andrew stayed over, Garrett would get up, cover him and get in his own bed.  


This time, Andrew had company: Garrett was sound asleep, he was not even laying down properly, while Andrew was laying down, taking up two-thirds of the couch.  
Garrett had put a blanket on him, but he had not left for bed. 

"Garrett, you should go and sleep on your own bed."

"Hmm." Garrett woke up feeling quite confused, but soon he realized he had fallen asleep on the couch.  
With a blush creeping on his cheeks, he added, "Oh. Yeah. Sorry, you must have been so uncomfortable tonight. Don't worry about me. Do you want to go nap on the bed? I feel really guilty for making you sleep so cramped up."

"I actually slept really well, don't worry. Also, I have a couple of things to do this morning. But you should definitely go and sleep properly now."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen," Garrett didn't want to say it out loud, but his whisper was heard by the redhead.

"Garrett, you look exhausted. Have you had problems falling asleep?"

"Kinda, yeah. But, and don't look at me like that, it's ok, I swear. I am back on track now, I promise."

"Garrett, you fell asleep sitting up."

"I- ok fine, I have a problem with insomnia, but you helped."

"I did?"

"Yeah, I've not had a proper night's sleep in weeks, until last night."

"Oh my God, Garrett. I'm coming over to make sure you get enough sleep tonight."

Garrett laughed, "Ok, mom. I'll text you when I'm done with Shane."

Andrew started giggling, "That," he couldn't stop laughing, "that sounds like you plan on killing him."

Garrett joined in laughing, loving the sound Andrew's laughter created, "Well-"

The redhead, still a giggling mess, left his friend's house saying, "Go to sleep, I'm serious, I'll tell Shane to come over at noon so either put an alarm or I'm calling you."

"I guess both would be ideal. You know I never hear my alarm."

"I'll call you later, bye."

"Bye."

Garrett was left alone in his tiny house, again.  
He sighed before heading toward his bed, hoping to get some more sleep and to get rid of his pounding headache.

_xxx_

Garrett had gotten the sleep he so craved for, and he also had gotten up on time, for once.

He stepped out of the shower and prepared his breakfast.  
He felt like he was accomplishing the dream of his life.  
It felt like a big deal, and deep down he knew it was.  
He was functioning as a normal adult, and he wanted to pat his own back.

Shane came around noon, as promised.

"Good morning!"

"Hi!"

"Oh my God, your house is so clean."

"You didn't expect it?"

"No, I did, it's just that it looks so- I don't know, I am so proud, though."

"Aww, Shane!" 

The two friends hugged.

"I am, I don't know why I didn't notice it yesterday."

"It's all thanks to you." Garrett smiled warmly.

"Stop giving yourself so little credit."

"Fine." Garrett jokingly rolled his eyes.

Shane gasped loudly, "I have an idea," he said.

"I'm scared." Garrett laughed nervously.

"Don't be, we don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Ok, shoot."

"We could film an updated house tour, so your fans can be proud of you as well."

"I guess we could do that." Garrett shrugged.

"That's great! See? Now you have an idea for a video, how long has it been since you uploaded?"

"Actually, not even a week." Garrett felt proud of himself.

"Wait, what? You didn't tell me."

"Yeah, I just-"

"What was the video about?"

"It was about making a song in 24 hours."

"How did I not know that? I'm such a horrible friend."

"Wait! Video idea: you reacting to the baby song." Garrett pointed at him very dramatically, causing Shane to laugh.

"Baby song?"

"It's complicated."

"Let's do it!"

"Should we do it tomorrow, so Andrew can be in it, too?"

"Is Andrew part of the song?"

"Oh, you're not ready for his part, trust me."

"Love that." 

The two of them hung out for the entire afternoon, Garrett cooked for Shane, which the latter was so surprised to see.

"Since when do you cook?" 

"I've been trying to get my life on track. I feel like eating healthily may be a start."

"I am actually going to cry. I am so proud of you."

"Shane, don't make _me_ cry!"

They filmed the tour video and a cute cooking vlog, which they had not discussed.

"Shane, what are you doing?" Garrett stopped stirring whatever he was cooking to look at Shane pointing a camera at him.

"I am showing them why they need to be proud of you, besides the house and stuff."

Garrett smiled at him, he had gotten his best friend back.

They sat down to eat, they stopped filming, and Shane opened up a conversation Garrett quite frankly didn't want to have.

"How's dating life going?"

"Shane, no, we're not doing that again."

"What?"

Garrett started laughing, "Remember when you set up a blind date for me? And it went horribly wrong?"

"It didn't go wrong!"

"Shane." 

"You didn't even give the poor guy a chance."

"Yeah, but-" Garrett stopped, what was he ready to confess?

"Now that I think about it, you never told me why."

"Yeah, and I am not telling you now, either."

"Come on!"

"No!"

"Did he do anything bad?"

"No."

"He didn't force himself on you, did he?" Shane would have died if he learned that he had caused something like that to happen to his friend.

"Oh my God, Shane! No!" Garrett looked horrified at the thought. Alex was a very nice guy just not for him.

"What happened?"

"It wasn't him."

"Who was it? You?"

"I mean, kind of?"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"I am so confused."

"I just didn't reply to him anymore."

"Garrett!"

"I'm sorry- it's just that my mind was somewhere else."

"Why do I feel it still is?" 

Garrett looked at Shane defeatedly, "Yeah, it still is."

Shane gasped, "Is it still the same guy?" At Garrett's telling expression, he added, "It is! Oh my God, who?"

"I can't-" Garrett shook his head.

"Garrett!"

"I swear I'll tell you! Just not today."

"But you're still single, right?"

"Yeah."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"That you love him."

"Who said I love him?" 

"You said you've been thinking about this guy since then, and it's been years!"

"I guess, but-" Realization hit Garrett like a train.

"Does he know or not?"

"He doesn't."

"Is he married or something?"

"I could never!" Garrett gasped.

"Then, why doesn't he know, yet?"

Garrett looked sheepishly at the ground.

"He's not straight, _right?"_

Garrett bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

_"Garrett!"_


	4. Panic and Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to recreate a panic attack, but then again, everyone is different and has different experiences with panic attacks.  
> This is just how I experience them so, please be nice.
> 
> Also, if you're reading this, make sure your friends are okay!
> 
> Love you all, stay safe.

Shane left Garrett's house at the end of the afternoon.  
The sun was setting, and Garrett was left alone with his thoughts.  
He started thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.

The day with his best friend had passed by quite quickly, mostly because it was always fun to spend time with Shane, especially with no camera.

He couldn't shake the conversation about his crushes, though.

His neurons started firing too much information too quickly, and Garrett started feeling a bit overwhelmed.

_"Who said I love him?"_

_"You said you've been thinking about this guy since then, and it's been years!"_

Was Garrett really in love with this guy?

It wouldn't take a genius to realize that the guy in question was Garrett's other best friend.

A certain redhead had entered Garrett's life with a burst of heartwarming laughter and his sweet, loving smile.

He had unsettled his life, turned everything upside down.

Garrett had lost his mind for Andrew.  
He was head-over-heels for him, he'd have probably killed if he had ever asked him to.

He didn't know how Andrew hadn't realized it, or, if he had, why he had never said anything about it.

Perhaps, Garrett thought, he was just too nice to say anything, maybe he didn't mind, or it was just too awkward of a topic to bring up in conversation.

_Excuse me, could you stop loving me?_

Garrett's heart longed for his friend painfully hard; it left him wondering if he was ever going to get over it.

He regretted not telling anyone because, sometimes, and now was the case, he felt like his chest was ripping in half from the ache in his heart.

At the pressure in his chest, his whole body started hurting, and he started crying.

He felt like he couldn't breathe.  
His heart threatened to come out of his thorax.

He thought of his eyes, his rejection, his bitter words.  
The underlying homophobia, his inevitable disgust when he'd find out the thoughts that kept Garrett up at night.

_No._

Not his Andrew.

_He would never._

Except there was no _'his_ Andrew'.

Garrett's sobs grew stronger.

He definitely needed help, he realized, so he texted the first person to come up in his mind.

_**Shane I need you** _

_**omg are u ok?** _

_**I can't breathe  
I think  
Panic attack** _

_**omg, stay calm, i'm omw but it's gonna take a while, i'm sending andrew to you, he is already out  
please keep breathing  
ily stay with me**_

_**Please hurry.**_

Garrett didn't know why he was on the floor, nor he remembered how he had gotten there.  
Just as he realized where he was, he heard someone calling his name.

He felt a pair of arms, he felt warmth.  
He didn't need to look at the face to know who was helping him out.

Even during a panic attack, he recognized the mixed smell of musk and cologne.  
The sound of his voice and the softness of his hands.

"Garrett!"

He heard his voice muffled, muted, but it still was his voice.  
He'd recognize it everywhere.

He fell in his arms, he didn't think too much about it.  
Garrett was crumbling and Andrew was terrified.

"Gare, can you hear me?"

Barely, Garrett wanted to reply, but he just nodded.

"Ok, I will help you, I promise. Now, can you get on the couch?"

When Garrett tried to get up, he felt two strong hands securely helping him.

He felt Andrew sit next to him on the couch.

"Can I touch you?"

Another nod.

Garrett shut his eyes to sob even harder when he felt Andrew's embrace.

"You're going to be alright, Garrett. I am here with you. Please breathe."

His name came out of his mouth, and it felt like he had thrown up a rock.  
"Andrew."

"Yes, Gare, I am here. You'll be fine, breathe."

Andrew recognized a panic attack when he saw one.  
His own heart was threatening to come out of his chest, and he so desperately wanted to throw up, but he had to be strong for his best friend.

Andrew knew Garrett was having a tough time, but he would have never thought, not in a million years, that he'd ever see him having a panic attack.

Garrett was thankfully not sobbing and hyperventilating anymore, but he was still shivering, so Andrew got up to give him something to wear.

Garrett protested, "Please, don't let me go."

Andrew didn't want to let him go, ever, but Garrett felt so cold, and he wanted to help.

"I just wanted to get you a blanket, or a hoodie. Don't worry, I am not going anywhere."

Garrett tightened his grip around his friend.

"You know what, here, wear my jacket."

"I am gonna rip it." Somehow, Garrett managed to joke even in a situation like that.

"No, you are not." Andrew let out a small chuckle.

Garrett wore Andrew's jacket, and he suddenly felt better.  
The warmth and Andrew's perfume were very helpful, he had to admit.

"Do you feel any better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Andrew ran his hand through Garrett's hair. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I wouldn't know where to start."

"Did something happen?"

"Not really, no."

Andrew was surprised to see that Garrett was willing to talk about it, he had expected to have to push him for information, but, thankfully, his friend was cooperating quite well.

"I was thinking about stuff, then I felt a strong pain in my chest, and I couldn't breathe, like, at all."

Andrew hugged his friend again.  
"I am sorry you had to go through that."

Not your fault. Garrett wanted to say.

A lie.

No, it wasn't fair to put it on Andrew.

_It's not his fault that you were dumb enough to fall for him._

But then if Andrew hadn't been straight, or not so lovable...

_No._

A half-lie.

Garrett sighed and backed out of the embrace.

Almost as a cue, Shane ran inside, and Garrett had never seen Shane run before.

"Garrett, oh my God, are you ok? No, dumb question, how do you feel?"

Garrett smiled at him, "A bit better, thank you."

He felt another hug, a much more gentle one, a bit less warm, though.

"I am sorry, that shouldn't have happened to you."

"It's okay, Shane, really. I am ok now."

"Do you want me to take you to the doctor?"

"There's no need!"

Andrew looked at Garrett again, he did look better.

_Perhaps he needed to let out bottled emotions._

"Don't worry, Shane, I am staying with him tonight, to look after him, of course."

_Of course._

Why did he feel the need to add that? It wasn't the first time he had stayed at Garrett's for the night.  
He didn't need a reason, but he was looking for one anyway.

"Oh, thank you, Andrew. If you need anything, please, call me. Garrett, please, stay safe, I love you." 

Another soft hug.

At that moment, Garrett realized how grateful he was for his friends.

Shane left promising he'd come over the next morning.

Garrett was quite scared to be left alone with Andrew, not because he didn't enjoy his company, but he was scared of what his fragile heart would confess.

Nights were always scary for a secret-keeper, they brought adrenaline and courage, but mostly foolishness.  
Even the worst secrets would come out at night if someone wasn't careful enough.

Garrett wasn't usually scared, he could hide his secrets very well, and he always had.  
This time, though, his brain wasn't functioning as well as he'd have liked, his rationality was no longer to be seen.

Garrett sighed as he felt another warmer embrace.

_Please cooperate with me, brain, at least for tonight._


	5. Embraces and Normality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you have some fluff!

"Why did I agree to this?"

"Come on, it's not like I am taking you to war."

Garrett gasped, "if war was like Chipotle, I'd volunteer."

"Garrett!" The redhead was trying his best not to laugh too loudly.

"I am sorry, being hungry makes me this way." 

The two men laughed as they exited Garrett's house.

It was almost nighttime, and Andrew had forced Garrett to go out.  
They were going to eat dinner (of course, Garrett wanted Chipotle), and they had decided to walk there.

"It's a nice evening today."

"Small talk doesn't suit you, Garrett."

"No, it really is! I want to appreciate the little things in life."

Andrew smiled, "that's nice."

"Yeah, the clouds, the sunset, the bugs on the ground, everything has a purpose, right?"

"I guess it does, yeah."

"That makes me feel better, thinking everything has its own place."

"You do, too."

"Yeah, I just need to find it."

"Is that why you had that panic attack earlier?"

"Oh, I guess so, yeah."

_Liar._

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I feel like there's not much to talk about," Garrett was looking at anything else but Andrew, "I guess it was just a lot of stress, and thoughts that bothered me, but now I'm better!"

_Liar._

Andrew raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"  
He wanted to add, I've never seen someone recover so quickly from a panic attack, but he didn't.  
He didn't want to push Garrett to talk, yet.

Garrett started talking about a bug he had found in 'bug manor' while Andrew kept looking at him.

He looked stunning between the street lights, his voice sounded like a melody in between the chaos of the city.

Andrew found himself looking more and more at his friend.  
It was addictive, almost.

Garrett was perfect, he was starting to realize day after day.

Andrew felt very weird about his new thoughts about his friend.

_Anyone should be honored to be shipped with Garrett._

His own words were haunting him.  
The situation earlier had distracted him, but now that he thought about it, he had not felt that scared in years.

Rationally, his mind had told him that Garrett wasn't dying, and, as much as panic attacks felt horrible, he was going to be ok.

On the other hand, he still felt nervous, he still observed his friend to make sure he was breathing normally.

Andrew knew he cared about Garrett a lot, he just didn't know he could go insane over one, single panic attack.

He met his eyes as Garrett stopped talking, and he was gifted a genuine smile from his friend, which Andrew valued as a precious jewel.

It seemed like Garrett was waiting for an answer, but Andrew had zoomed out in the middle of the conversation.

"Hm? Sorry, I got distracted."

Garrett smiled and pointed, "We're here."  
He walked past Andrew and opened the door for him, and the redhead felt his cheeks burning.

"Thank you." He was grateful he had not stuttered at that.

It felt like an out-of-body experience, Andrew thought he had died and transcended in the mind of a teenager.

The evening went by quite normally, they both ordered their usual meals and ate between giggles and memes.

Everything seemed normal, and both of them were grateful for it.  
They were best friends hanging out, like usual.

For a while, Garrett forgot he had had a panic attack, even in the presence of its reason.

A few Instagram stories later, the two of them headed back.

"Are you still coming over?"

"If it's not a problem for you."

"Not at all."

"After all, I promised Shane."

"Oh yeah, let me text him."

"How did it go, by the way."

"With Shane? It was like Christmas came early. I missed him."

Andrew smiled at him, "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't know, you choose."

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

Garrett's eyes lit up, "You know I'm always down for a good movie."

"Can I choose?" Andrew wanted to watch a funny one, to get distracted and laugh, sure, but mostly to see Garrett happy and smiling.

Oh, and Garrett was beaming while they were watching the movie.  
It wasn't a masterpiece, but Andrew had chosen it on purpose.  
He let aside his filmmaker pride in choosing artistic and well-produced films to make his friend happy.

That's how they ended up watching Scary Movie.

Andrew had to admit, though, that sometimes he liked laughing at a somewhat shitty movie, too.  
And, if that meant he could gaze at Garrett's laughing face, he'd sacrifice himself more often.

The movie ended too soon for the Andrew who liked hearing Garrett's laugh, but the filmmaker Andrew, on the other hand, was quite glad it was over.

It wasn't late, so the two of them decided to hang out more before heading to bed.  
They sat both on the couch, scrolling through their phones, enjoying each other's company passively.

Andrew broke the comfortable silence with his voice, "I am glad to have you back."

"I haven't gone anywhere."

"I was so scared for you, today."

"I am sorry."

"Listen, I just want you to know that I care a lot about you, ok?"

"I know." _I just wished you cared differently._

"Garrett," His name sounded like honey dripping out of his mouth to the blond, "come here."

His embrace tasted like honey, too, and Garrett tried his best not to let the bitter thoughts ruin that sweetness.

Andrew breathed in cotton and vanilla, Garrett's scent brought him home, it didn't matter where he was.

The hug lasted a while, but neither of them complained or dared to move, to not break the magical moment.

It was like a spell, and Garrett was scared that if he breathed differently, it would disappear.

Garrett was convinced (and quite terrified at the idea) that Andrew had psychic abilities when the latter said, "I'll never let you go."

The blond teared up, though succeeding at hiding it.  
"Please, never let me go."

They were both confused, but the night carried no rationality, no reason, they had to live in the moment, for their own sanity.

Along with uncertainty, the night brought courage and bravery.

That's why Garrett was able to ask, "Sleep with me tonight?"

Andrew was glad for the lack of light when he turned bright red.  
"I-I, well-"

"Oh my _God_ , Andrew. I meant actual sleep." Garrett started laughing again and the redhead soon joined in.

"You can say no, I just asked cause it makes me feel less lonely, you know?"

"I mean if it will help you sleep better, why not?"

"Great, I'll get you my spare blanket, I'll be right back."

Andrew headed over to Garrett's-now-doorless room and sat down on his bed.

His friend joined in with another blanket in his hands.

"Don't worry, Andrew, I washed my bedsheets this morning."

"Oh yeah, they smell nice."

"Yay."  
Garrett finally sat down on his own bed after leaving to change into his pajamas.

"Oh, Andrew, do you want something to sleep in?"

"If you don't mind, yes." Andrew didn't need to ask for one of Garrett's t-shirts, and he didn't need a pair of shorts either, mostly because he had brought a change of clothes with him.

He still did ask for them, and he wore them proudly, taking in his new favorite scent: Garrett's fabric softener.

The two of them laid down on the queen-sized bed facing each other.  
They chatted and laughed until Garrett started yawning and Andrew insisted he'd try to sleep.

"Fine, goodnight, Andrew."

"Goodnight." 

A few seconds passed, and the redhead couldn't keep a question from coming out, "Garrett."

"Hm."

" _Why_ do you sleep on a top sheet?"

" _Andrew!_ I am not talking to you till tomorrow, goodnight."

The redhead laughed, he felt at home.


	6. Golden and Red

Andrew woke up, thanks to the light shining through the window.

He saw the sleeping man next to him, and his heart skipped a beat.  
He also thought he needed an appointment at the cardiologist: that was happening all the time.

Garrett was still asleep.

His lips were slightly apart, his hair was messy, and his eyes, glassless, looked peaceful.  
The light was shining on his hair, making it seem golden.  
Andrew recognized this as the rough, unpolished, and beautiful look he had seen the other day.

He was breathing very slowly, softly, and concentrating on that calmed Andrew's senses.

It took him a while to realize the position they had slept in.  
They faced each other, the size of Garrett's bed left no distance in between them.

Andrew was living in a chichè movie or in one of those fan-fictions written by his fans, the ones he so desperately wanted to be in.

There was no denying that there was something wrong with Andrew's train of thought.  
He was aware that it wasn't normal that he wanted to lay in bed the entire day with his friend.  
It wasn't normal that he wanted to put his head on his chest and breathe in the now-faint vanilla on his clothes, either.

Andrew knew something was going on in his mind and heart, well, especially in his heart.  
He was just too exhausted to think about it.  
There was nothing he could have done at that moment other than letting everything flow the way destiny had planned for him.

He got up and changed back into his clothes quite reluctantly.  
He opened Garrett's fridge and was surprised to see that his friend had _actual_ food in his fridge, no junk food, no takeaway.

Andrew unconsciously smiled and felt very proud of him.

"Hey. You hungry."

Andrew jumped, "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." Garrett scratched his head.

Andrew smiled at him, but on the inside, he was dying.  
Garrett's morning voice was truly something else.

"Shane texted me if we want to go over right now, do you mind?"

Andrew shook his head, "Can we stop at Coffee Bean on our way?"

"Whatever you want."

_xxx_

The drive to Shane's house went by normally, only a few Frank Ocean songs after, they had arrived, and Andrew still didn't know what they were going to do that day.

"Hello!"

"Hi!"

"Garebear, how are you feeling?"

"I feel way better today, thanks, Ryland."

Ryland smiled at his tall friend, "Do you guys want anything to eat?"

"We just ate."

"Yeah."

"Good morning everyone!"

"Shane it's noon."

Shane squinted his eyes jokingly at his boyfriend, "As I was saying, good morning. Garrett, how are you?"

"I'm good."  
Garrett flashed one of his best smiles.

A few moments later, all of them were sitting on the couch, the camera was set on the tripod, and Shane was holding his phone in his hand.

"Okay so, I looked it up and your song was #3 in the hip-hop charts and #21 in the general song chart. Oh. My. God."

Garrett and Andrew looked at each other before laughing out loud.  
Garrett itched his eye and added in between giggles, "Yeah, that happened."

"You guys, I am excited! But first, what is that?" Shane looked horrified at the cover art.

"Garrett's fault."

"Hey, that's me, as a baby. No, Shane, don't-" Garrett laughed.

The three of them teased each other a bit more, mostly Garrett and Shane, until it was the fateful moment.

"I am not ready."

"Oh, you aren't, trust me."

The song started and Shane was already laughing.  
"That's you?!", Shane turned to look at Garrett with a gasp, "I'm hard." 

Garrett laughed when he heard Ryland's, "Shane!"

"Sorry, love you, sweetie." Shane mouthed at the camera a small 'whoops'.

"The cough, oh my god." Ryland noticed. "I'm living."

"Who's that?"

"Caleb, a friend of ours."

"He's good!"

"Where's your part?" Shane asked Andrew.

"Oh, you're not ready," Garrett said as Andrew hid his face in his hoodie.

"Hop out da womb?!" Shane screamed

"You are a genius." Shane gasped again.

"Oh my God!" Shane was yelling in excitement while Garrett and Andrew were laughing, both a bit embarrassed.

Shane's mouth was wide open when the song finished.

"That was-"

"Everything!" Ryland interrupted Shane.

"It truly was something else."

"Did you guys like it?" Andrew asked.

"It was epic." Shane was stunned.

"Yay."

"Andrew you should do this as a job," Ryland said.

"Be careful, or he's gonna quit my job!" 

"It's Garrett, he did all of this, I'd never had thought of a baby song, but he did, so here it is."

"How did this start?"

"Watch the video, Shane!" Garrett laughed.

"Ok, shamelessly promoting, I like that, I like that."

"Which was your favorite part?"

"Honestly, I can't decide. The whole song is a bop, I am not going to lie. What's up with your voice, by the way?" Ryland asked.

"Oh my God, Garrett, what happened to your voice? Did you take testosterone shots or something? I was so-"

"Don't say turned on!"

Shane turned his face to the other side and laughed.  
"I mean-"

"Shane!"

The four of them chatted a bit more, Shane turned off the camera, and everyone was just relaxing.

Everyone, except, of course, the always-nervous Siwicki.

Andrew's mind was somewhere else, mostly because of Shane's comment on Garrett's voice.

He did sound unconventionally manly for Garrett-standards.  
It did sound like Garrett had gone through phase two of puberty.

Was that how Garrett spoke to potential dates?  
Was he ever going to listen to that voice again?

Andrew mentally sighed, he wasn't surprised at his own thoughts anymore.  
Those comments about Garrett's ships were really sticking to him.

_"I'm a lesbian, but Garrett singing makes me feel things."_

Andrew also remembered that one comment under their new video together and tried his best not to goofily smile in front of the others.

Perhaps it was normal, that he found his manly voice attractive.

_Perhaps._

"Shane, stop it." Garrett was furiously blushing as Shane continuously complimented him on his singing skills.

The compliments stung Andrew's heart.  
He looked over at Ryland, who had joined in laughing with Shane and Garrett.

Ryland, Shane's future husband, wasn't bothered by the empathy and complicity between Garrett and Shane, so who was he to complain about it?

Andrew then thought that perhaps it bothered him more because there wasn't a romantic interest between the two.  
He was jealous of his best friend, that was normal, right?

The redhead stopped thinking, Garrett had asked him something.

"What do you think, Andrew?"

"Sorry, can you repeat the question?"

"A collab with famous musician Shane Dawson!"

"Andrew, don't say a word!"

"Wait... that would be everything."

"I told you!"

"I am in retirement!" 

"I still think Andrew should be a rapper."  
There it was, another Garrett induced blush.

This time, though, everyone could see it, the reddened cheeks that matched his hair.

"Garrett, have you heard yourself? You sound amazing."

Garrett giggled nervously, "Aww, Andrew, you're so sweet."

Andrew noticed his friend's sweet smile and his shy look, he knew how insecure Garrett was about his voice.

What he didn't notice, though, was the knowing look Shane and Ryland shared.


	7. Confessions and Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of drug usage (prescripted though!)
> 
> I am sorry there's not too much gandrew interaction, but I am building something up.
> 
> Let's say you're gonna love the next chapter :)

" _That's_ who you like!" Shane dragged Garrett in his room.

"No, Shane!"

"You love him." Shane gasped.

"I don't!" 

Garrett tried to deny, but Shane glared at him.

"Ok, fine. Are you happy now?" The blond sighed.

"Oh my God, you love him." Shane put a hand on his chest in shock.

"Shh, keep your voice down!" 

"He's not gonna hear anything."  
Shane gave his friend a small smile.

"Shane, why are you smiling? You can't tell him anything!"

"I know, don't worry. It's just that, it's cute."

"Don't make me regret this."

"Hey, it's going to be fine."

"No, it's not! It's not cute, it's fucking painful."

Shane's eyes softened. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, no." Garrett was restless. "I am still hoping I can forget him."

"Wait, what?" Shane was suddenly confused.

"Yeah, Shane. It's not like it's ever going to happen. I need to get over this asap." Garrett laid down on Shane's bed.

"Like that's been working out!"

"Shane, I don't know what to do!" Garrett covered his face with his hands.

Shane sat next to him and put his hand on Garrett's head, ruffling his hair.  
"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought that maybe if I didn't tell anyone, it would pass quicker. As you can see, it didn't work out."

"I can't imagine what you must be going through."  
Shane felt his friend's pain while Garrett felt his friend's sympathy.

"It's painful, Shane. Sometimes I want to stop being friends cause it gets unbearable. I don't know how long I can go on living like this."

"I can't believe it's been three years."

"I can't either. I am scared, it doesn't get better as time goes on. I don't know who invented feelings, but I want a refund." Garrett joked.

Shane managed to laugh, but he still felt horrible for his best friend.

"Do you want to take a break? From all of this?" 

"I tried to, Shane, four months. And, you know what I did? I cried as the baby that I am."  
Garrett was kind of joking, but Shane's heart broke in half.

"That is why you had a panic attack yesterday." It wasn't a question because Shane didn't need an answer: he already had one.

Garrett sat up, and Shane didn't waste a second to hug him.  
Garrett was grateful he had his friend to rely on, after so many months.

"Oh my God," Shane gasped.

"What's wrong?" Garrett asked when he saw Shane's eyes glisten.

"I am so horrible. I am so sorry."

"Why are you saying that, Shane? What did you do?"

"That time, when we set up Andrew with Megan."

 _Oh. That time._  
Garrett, unfortunately, remembered very well that night.  
He had suffered through it for Andrew because his friend deserved to be happy with someone he liked, even if that person wasn't him.

_Especially because that person wasn't me._

Garrett was a very jealous person, but he hid it very well, behind a wall of jokes and fake smiles. Well, not all of them were fake, some, though fewer, were genuine. 

Garrett was a good person, he wanted the best for Andrew after all, and there was no denying that one day he'd have to live with the idea that he'd have to share his crush (more like love of his life, but Garrett still pushed back that thought to preserve his sanity).

"I would have never joked about it if I had known. I feel terrible."

"I know, Shane. I was never mad at you. Just at the entire situation."

"You must have felt horrible."

"I did. I felt like I was helping to create something that would eventually destroy me. It was like a suicidal mission, or at least it felt like it at the time. Now I feel like Andrew deserves the absolute best, and that's definitely not me, so I have to deal with it, because as I said before, I tried to live without you guys for weeks, and it was terrible. I can't do it."

"Why are you saying that? You'd be the best thing that ever happened to him."

"Shane, I know you're trying to make me feel better, but one: he's straight; two: he's my best friend, and three: I am not that great."

"Shut up, don't say that, oh my God, Garrett. You can't possibly think that. I think you're one of the best people on this planet, everyone loves you and he does, too."

"Just not the way I want him to."

Shane hugged Garrett even harder than before, a few tears were threatening to leave his eyes.

At that exact moment, Ryland entered the room.

"Am I interrupting something?" He jokingly asked, but, when he saw his boyfriend's and his friend's sad eyes, he added, "Is everything ok? What happened?"

"Can I tell him?"

"Shane, you promised."

"He already knows. He told me once, but I didn't believe him."

Garrett muttered a 'fine' and threw himself on the bed for a second time.

"Garrett is in love with Andrew."

Ryland gasped, "I told you!"  
He looked at Garrett, who was still lying on the bed, "Are you okay, Garebear? That must be so hard for you."

Garrett didn't even want to reply anymore, he just hummed and hoped everyone understood.

"Where's Andrew?" Shane asked suspiciously.

"He's in the living room. Morgan just arrived."

The three of them joined Morgan and Andrew, who were both sitting on the couch, laughing at a funny picture of Shane Morgan had face tuned.

The day was spent laughing, yelling, playing with the pets, making Instagram stories, and planning a new video for Morgan's channel.

Before they knew it, it was nighttime, and Ryland ordered food for everyone because Shane had insisted they stayed for dinner and drinks.

"It's been a long time since we hung out together, let's change that," Morgan said.

"Yeah, we've all been busy," Shane thought about his conversation with Garrett, "But we are gonna do our best to see each other more, right?" 

A choir of affirmation filled Shane's kitchen, as everyone was pouring drinks for themselves.

Morgan made her way towards Garrett with a non-alcoholic drink for him.  
"Thank you!"

Shane noticed and asked, "Why aren't you drinking?"  
"I am driving."

"I thought you were staying the night."

"Oh, thank you, Shane, but tomorrow I have to wake up early anyway so." 

Shane raised an eyebrow but made a point to remind himself to ask him later, and Garrett was grateful he didn't ask anything more.

Morgan, though, saw Garrett's guilty look, the one he usually had when he was either lying or hiding something.

"Garrett, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

Morgan sat down on Shane's couch with him and put a hand on his leg, "If you need to talk, I'm here."

Garrett loved Morgan, she was chill and almost always serene, she never pushed Garrett, but the simple phrase he heard warmed his heart enough to open up.

"I am on Xanax."

"You're on what now?"

"It's prescribed! But I don't want to drink on it."

"Garrett, are you okay? Andrew told me what happened."

"Yeah, I am fine. That's exactly why I am taking it. I talked to a doctor, and I need to take it for a few days because of the panic attack."

"But wasn't it yesterday?"

"Yeah, but it's happened before."

"Oh my God." Morgan gasped and hugged Garrett, "I am so sorry."

"Hey, it's not your fault." 

"If it ever happens to you again, please, tell me. I am here for you."

"Thank you, Morgan. That means a lot to me."

Andrew glanced at the sofà as he exited the kitchen, his smile faltered when he saw the scene in front of him.

_Chill, Andrew.  
Why am I even mad?_

Andrew's heart started beating fast once again.

He _was_ jealous of Garrett and Morgan.

_Nope, no, nope._

He backed off, shook his head and turned in the kitchen, there was something that he needed right now, and it wasn't thinking about his best friend with his other friend, it was alcohol.


	8. Ambrosia and Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long, I was supposed to post this last night, but as I was copying the text to post it on here, instead of pressing ctrl c I pressed ctrl v
> 
> I cried a little
> 
> I recovered 90% of it from the meanderings of my mind, hopefully, my memory did good enough.
> 
> I feel very sad because I was very excited about this chapter, I still love it, but it did stress me out.
> 
> So, could you please leave some feedback? I'd appreciate it a lot. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Andrew was drunk, disgustingly, horrifyingly drunk.  
He had lost count at the sixth shot of tequila.  
Usually, he wasn't one to drink to forget, but this time he had a good reason.  
He was jealous of his friend.

_Could I possibly be developing...?  
No, friend. He's a friend!  
You're straight, Andrew._

His drunken thoughts terrified him, mostly because the jealousy didn't stop at the "I am his best friend, not you", it went far beyond that.

_Anyone should be honored to be shipped with Garrett._

That wasn't a comment from a fan.  
That was an actual thought in Andrew's mind.

The redhead sighed before downing whatever was left in his glass.

Garrett, on the other hand, was quite worried about his friend, who couldn't walk straight or talk properly.

He looked around and saw the messiest bunch of people he had seen in a while.

Morgan and Shane were sitting on the couch, laughing about something dumb, sharing another glass of vodka, while Andrew was wandering around restlessly.

Garrett hated having to deal with drunk people.  
Usually, he was the drunk one. Was he that annoying?

Part of him wanted to leave Andrew in Ryland's hands, but his selfless side mentally slapped him.  
Andrew was his best friend, and he'd take care of him, no matter what.

"I need to take Andrew home."

Shane heard Garrett and laughed.

"Shane, that's not what I meant," Garrett replied rolling his eyes.

"Sure," his friend kept laughing.

"Can we have a sleepover?" Andrew excitedly proposed.

"No, I am not coming to your house."

"Then, I'll come to you!" 

Shane was laughing again.

Garrett looked around again and sighed, meeting the eyes of the other sober person at that moment, Ryland.

"Don't look at me. At least you don't have to take care of two."

Garett laughed, "Yes, I will just drop him off and leave."

"You can't leave him alone like that, he needs you."

Garrett gave him the look.

"I can take care of him if you don't want to. Don't worry about it." Ryland proposed and smiled at him.

Garrett turned around to see his friends on the floor, cry-laughing.  
"No, I'll manage. I think you have enough work cut out for you, already."

"Yeah. I think I am gonna ban alcohol from this house for a while."

"That'd be wise." Garrett laughed. "Andrew, let's go home."  
_Oof, that sounded bad._

"I'm coming!"

Shane almost choked at the unintentional innuendo, and Garrett had to admit it.

_That sounded even worse._

Garrett rolled his eyes and said, "Bye guys. Good luck, Ryland."  
"You too," he heard Ryland reply, before directing his drunk friend towards the door.

The drive back home went by quite uneventfully.

Andrew fell asleep, and Garrett hoped it would help to sober him up a bit.

Garrett couldn't resist looking at his friend every time he stopped because of red lights, even though he thought they didn't last as long as he wanted them to.

Andrew was leaning on the car window, his hoodie over his head, his arm crossed and his expression peaceful.

"Andrew," Garrett softly woke his friend up, "We've arrived."

"Mmh, carry me."

Garrett laughed, "Come on, you can sleep inside."  
He helped his friend get out of the car.

Andrew felt dizzy as he got up, but Garrett was there to thankfully save him from falling on the ground.

"Garrett, what would I ever do without you? How could I possibly ever repay you?"

Garrett smiled, "You'll have time to think about it tomorrow."

Garrett intended to take Andrew to bed, lay on the couch, put on some music, and hopefully get the sleep he so desperately needed.

The night, though, didn't go exactly as he had planned.

He brought Andrew to bed and helped him take his shoes and hoodie off.  
He was about to leave when he felt something stopping him from leaving.

Andrew had grabbed his arm with his hand, begging him not to leave him alone.  
"Please stay."

"No, I need to sleep, and so do you."

"Then sleep with me! I am small, so you can fit. Remember?"

How could Garrett have possibly resisted Andrew's puppy eyes?

He took his shoes off and joined him under the covers.  
As Garrett laid down, Andrew immediately wrapped himself around him, putting his head on his chest.

Garrett was already regretting giving in because he was starting to feel hyperaware of Andrew's touch, and having his friend so close to him made him feel quite _weird_.

"Garrett, I am mad at you," Andrew mumbled.

"What, why?" Could Shane had possibly let something slip up? He didn't think so, but his heart still carried a small amount of doubt.

"I saw how you looked at Morgan."

"What do you mean?" Garrett was very confused.  
Andrew couldn't possibly have been jealous of him, unless...

_Does he like Morgan?_

"Do you like her more than me?" Andrew was mumbling, buried in Garrett's chest.

"You're my best friend, I can't possibly like anyone more than you."

"You know what I mean." Andrew looked at Garrett, determined.

Garrett smiled, "Andrew, I'm gay."

His drunk friend seemed to think about it before saying, "Oh, right."

Garrett laughed and closed his eyes, he was about to wish him good night when he was interrupted.

"Say it again."

"What? That I like men? That I don't like women?"

"Oh, I like women."

"Great," Garrett laughed and shook his head.  
He had to admit, though, that as much as he had already been aware of it, hearing it out loud stung.

"Garrett, why weren't you born a woman?"

His stomach dropped. He opened his eyes and looked at Andrew.  
_What does that mean?_

"Or why wasn't I born a man?"

Garrett laughed at that but immediately stopped when he felt his friend's body weight shift.  
He was starting to worry about the implication of that phrase.

Suddenly, Andrew was inches close to his face, his eyes firmly on his lips.

Andrew wasn't thinking straight, that was clear, but Garrett wasn't either.  
At this point Garrett's mind was running on adrenaline, blocking out every rational thought.

He stopped thinking at all the moment he replied, "But you already are, Andrew."

Andrew needed no more words from him.  
He wanted his lips.  
And he got them.

Everything happened too quickly for Garrett to realize anything.  
He was too overwhelmed to think about what was happening.  
Perhaps it was the Xanax, he was on, or possibly it was the fact that he had spent years thinking and longing about that moment.

But, soon enough he realized what was happening.  
Andrew was pressing his lips on his, begging for an entrance, desperate for a kiss.

And could Garrett possibly have resisted that?  
Certainly not, but could anyone have blamed him?

The love of his life was begging for him, so he kissed back.

Garrett didn't mind the smell of alcohol, he couldn't detect it at all, for how intoxicated he felt as well.

Andrew was pressing on Garrett's body, not getting enough of him, he was desperately trying to get even closer to him.

Garrett helped him get on top of his legs, and Andrew wasted no time grabbing his shirt and pushing him even more.

Garrett hit his head on the headboard, and a small groan escaped his lips.

Andrew shivered at the sound coming from him, and Garrett grinned.

As much as the blond liked feeling the reaction of his pain from the redhead, he felt quite uncomfortable in that position.  
And he was going to change that.

So, somehow without breaking the kiss (mostly because he was scared it would have ended once and for all if he had) he put his arms on Andrew's hips and steadily pushed him up, so he could sit up as well.

At the cold contact, Andrew let out a soft moan, and Garrett thought he was going crazy.  
He grinned again at Andrew's surprised reaction because of the sudden position change.

Andrew wrapped his legs around Garrett's torso, leaving no space between them.

Garrett was losing it, completely.  
The whole scenario felt like the sweetest dream he ever had, and Andrew tasted like ambrosia.

Garrett was sure he had ascended to heaven.  
The sound of Andrew's moans was what he wanted to hear in paradise, or for the rest of his life, or possibly both.

Andrew's tongue felt like a benediction, his kisses a miracle.

Garrett's touch was a blessing to Andrew, too.  
He craved more and more at every second.

Garrett didn't even remember how he ended up on top of Andrew, the redhead was almost lying down completely, while he was bending over him, making sure he didn't put too much weight on him by holding himself up with both arms.

Andrew's eyes opened for a second when he felt the other slowly break contact.  
He saw Garrett's arms by his sides, but as much as he'd have stared at them for the entire night (Andrew had found his new weakness) he grabbed his shirt again and pulled him down.

He knew that Garrett was probably scared of hurting him, but Andrew didn't care.  
He was surprised at how much he loved the pressure of Garrett's body on his and he wanted to feel it all, along with the feel of his tongue on his skin.

Andrew was quite frankly overwhelmed with ecstasy.

He was addicted to the butterflies that stormed in his stomach every time he felt Garrett's lips on his.  
And to the fire that burned in his loins and lit up whatever place Garrett touched with his hands. 

Andrew wanted to drown in the waterfall of emotions Garrett's touch had created inside of him.

He loved this, there was no denying it.  
Both of them were frantically looking for more to touch and more to feel.  
Andrew wanted to be touched everywhere, anywhere, he didn't care.

Garrett's soft yet strong hands were magical, addictive.  
Andrew had found a new drug that could have very well killed him.

The kisses didn't get less passionate as time progressed, _not at all._  
Andrew had started to softly bite and tug at Garrett's lips, slowly increasing the pressure every time.

Garrett didn't mind at all, in fact, if his love wanted to make things more intense, who was he to refuse such a request? 

If moments before Garrett had felt hyperaware of every contact with Andrew's skin, now he couldn't even control his own limbs.  
And Andrew was so grateful he didn't.

Garrett leaned in again, this time not meeting his lips.  
Andrew's neck was his battlefield, and he had made it his own fight, to make Andrew feel as good as he could.

And the redhead didn't think it was humanly possible to feel any better.  
He was pushing his head back, exposing as much skin as he could, opening a new world for Garrett to explore.

Andrew was quite frankly a moaning mess, and Garrett beamed in pride and satisfaction.

The redhead grabbed the blond's cheeks and pulled him up to meet his lips again.  
Garrett tasted like honey, and he didn't know how it was possible under all the layers of alcohol taste in his own mouth.

Andrew felt one of Garret's hands on his cheek, the other on the back of his neck, pulling him even closer.

His hands were strong yet delicate at the same time, and Andrew wanted to know how that was possible.

How could he feel so vulnerable but so safe at the same time?

They kept kissing and kissing.

Another, another and another.

They changed the position, the speed, they couldn't get enough of each other.

Another, another, and another.

Both of them had been terrified of stopping, scared that even if they breathed for too long in between kisses, they'd break the magical spell that had bound them so close that night.

Garrett dared to open his eyes first and Andrew followed.  
They looked at each other, but the spell wasn't over just yet.

Somehow in their frantic and careless movements, they had ended up in the same position as they had started in.  
Garrett was laying down on his bed, with Andrew by his side, his hands on his chest, holding himself up so he could meet the blond's eyes.

No words were shared, but his eyes told Andrew everything.  
And he understood everything, needing no further explanation.

He looked at Andrew, and he couldn't find a better word to describe him if not ethereal.  
His lips were puffy, his eyes tired but serene, and his flushed face matched perfectly with the color of his now messy hair.

Garrett desperately wanted to tell Andrew how beautiful he looked, and how the red on his cheeks suited him, but he didn't.  
Only a silent agreement to stop was made, when he kissed Andrew again, but this time on his forehead.

Andrew closed his eyes, laid down with his head on Garrett's chest, and breathed in his favorite Vanilla scent.  
He felt Garrett wrap his arms around him, and he felt the safest he had felt in a long time.

He let sleep take over, his dreams were sweetly sealed by the second kiss Garrett placed on the top of his head.

Garrett still couldn't believe what had just happened.  
He was scared of what the morning would bring, almost wishing he'd forget about it.  
But he couldn't, he wouldn't.

He looked over at his love between his arms.  
Garrett was madly in love.  
And his love may have been, no _certainly was_ , unrequited, but his heart had suffered for so long that at that moment it refused to.

There spell cast upon them had left no space for uncertainty or regret, the little space between them had been filled with lust and love, sacred by kisses and lovebites.

The ecstasy was still running in his veins, the bliss of the night still flourishing.

Garrett decided he'd worry about everything the next day.  
In the morning, the sun would rise as every other day, and this time regret would follow, but now, he wanted peace. 

Besides, he already knew, the night carried no rationality, no reason, and they had lived in the moment, for their own sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just write smut without actually writing smut? Because it definitely felt like it, lmao


	9. Blame and Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter because I'd rather have Garrett's conversation with Shane in the next chapter.  
> I am sorry for this one, but you expected me to stick to fluff? Oh, no, prepare for angst in the next few ones.  
> Enjoy! ;)

Garrett woke up with sore lips, and the first thing he did was laugh.  
He chuckled at the strange feeling, one he had not felt in a long time.

His smile faded as he saw the sleeping man on top of him.  
Ah, there it was, the regret.

Garrett absolutely hated that he didn't feel Andrew's taste anymore, instead, he felt nothing but bitterness.

On the one hand, Garrett wanted to travel back in time. He wanted to relive that moment a thousand more times.

On the other, he couldn't believe he had let his emotions get the best of him. He was better than that.

_Fuck._

He tried to get up but couldn't, his friend's _body_ was blocking him.  
Garrett sighed, he wasn't going to get out of this easily, he had to wake Andrew up and actually talk to him.  
He felt like crying.

 _Can't I, like, let him sleep and leave? I'll move out if it means I don't have to talk to him right now._  
Garrett laughed at his own thoughts. He wasn't serious, but not a hundred percent joking either.

Garrett suddenly felt uncomfortable: his collarbone was hurting and his arm was sore.  
After staring at the ceiling for a couple minutes, he looked at the head that was resting on his chest.

He felt so tempted to place another kiss on Andrew's head, remembering the night before.  
He also remembered seeing something different in his eyes before he had closed them.

He didn't know what had gone through his friend's head (it sure felt weird to think about him as a friend), but he had seen a different expression.  
He had recognized a realization shining through his tired eyes, which Garrett was scared of.

Andrew realized Garrett was in love with him. That's what he assumed.  
He had probably understood it the moment he looked at him with the biggest heart-eyes.  
He knew he had a problem, smiling like a goofy lovesick idiot every time he looked at Andrew.

But could you blame him? Andrew was beautiful, funny, adorable, and he could have spent the entire morning thinking about intricate adjectives to associate with him if only the redhead had not decided to wake up in that exact moment.

He heard Andrew groan and saw him reach his head with his hand.

_Oh, he's gotta have such a bad hangover._

It took a while for Andrew to realize where he was, but when he did, his eyes widened, and his stomach dropped.

 _And... there it is, the regret._ Garrett saw it immediately, and he expected the hurtful words, the insults, the awkward 'I need to leave'.

But, he got none of that.  
Instead, Andrew sat up, ran a hand through his hair, and when he saw Garrett's painful expression moving his arm, with his morning voice (a delight for Garrett's ears) he said, "Sorry, you must have been so uncomfortable."

"It's okay." Garrett cleared his own voice coughing, not noticing the small blush covering Andrew's cheeks.

_Jesus, he didn't need to hit that hard with that morning voice._

Garrett got up first, stretching his back he said, "If you want to take a shower, feel free to."

Andrew hummed as he watched his friend leave.  
He so desperately wanted Garrett to get back to bed and cuddle him the whole day.

Andrew sighed, he didn't even bother asking himself why he was having such thoughts, he didn't want to ask himself too many questions.  
The night before carried all the answers he had looked for.  
There was no denying he had _some_ feelings for his friend, it was blatant.  
The problem occurred when he had to figure out what type of feelings his heart carried.

After all, he had always been, and he still was, so sure of his sexuality, confident in his attraction to women. 

This time, though, it was different.  
Garrett was not only a man, which was already a problem by itself, he was also his best friend.

Andrew couldn't believe what he had done.  
_I fucking kissed him._

His head started pounding even harder. Andrew groaned. He'd worry about his mistakes later, he needed coffee and pain medication.

Andrew got up and found his friend in the kitchen, looking for something in his cupboards.  
"Do you have some Advil?" He managed to ask.

"Yes, I was just getting it for you, and I'm also making coffee. You have a water bottle and a cookie there, finish them." Garrett kept looking for the medication in his kitchen.

"Ok, dad."

Garrett almost choked on his own spit, while Andrew heavily blushed when he understood the possible implications of his joke.

"I-I meant-" he stuttered, "Whatever."

Garrett turned around, "I know, don't worry, here's your Advil," he started saying before he stopped in his tracks.  
"Andrew, have you looked at yourself in the mirror, yet?"

The redhead was sipping on his water when he furrowed his brows and replied, "No, why?"

When Andrew saw his friend's face turn a bright magenta shade, he ran to the bathroom.

It took a lot of patience not to scream, or kill Garrett.

Andrew's neck was livid, studded with purple spots.

"You marked me!"

"It was an accident!"

"What do you mean an accident?!"

"I didn't want to do that!"

"Oh my God, how do I turn up to work like this?"

"Just wear your hoodie up."

Andrew glared at Garrett.

"It's just Shane." Garrett insisted.

Andrew wanted to scream, "That's exactly why I'm worried! You think he won't ask me anything? You know him way better than me."

"Yeah," Garrett chuckled nervously, "You're right."

"Don't laugh, this is serious."

"Ok, geez, sorry." Garrett sarcastically replied.

"Can't you be serious for a second?" Andrew didn't even know why he was so mad.  
Yes, the hickeys were _not_ a good look, and he'd have to make up a good lie about them, but it wasn't the end of the world.  
He knew Garrett hadn't done it on purpose.

"Why are you so mad at this? It was an accident. What do you want me to do? Apologize?"

"You did this," Andrew said as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Did you forget what _you_ did last night?" Garrett thought it wasn't fair that he got all the blame for himself.  
Had Andrew really expected him to turn him down?

"You're acting like this is my fault."

"You kissed me!"

"I was wasted, but you weren't and you kissed back!" Andrew regretted immediately saying it out loud.

 _That was a low blow, Andrew._  
Garrett didn't know what to say or do. His eyes were about to water, but he refused to give in.

Andrew felt miserable, not only he had kissed his friend but now he was blaming it on him. He wanted to slap himself.

"I think I need to leave." 

"I think you do." Garrett's voice was cold and stoic. 

Andrew shivered and lowered his gaze. He didn't know why he expected anything else. Garrett was right to be mad at him.  
"Yeah."  
Andrew felt the need to hug him and apologize, to say he didn't blame him and to kiss him again.

 _No._ He felt like it would have been misleading him.  
Because Garrett was his friend, and Andrew was straight.

When Andrew left, Garrett didn't reply at his goodbye or accompany him at his door like he usually did.  
Instead, he took out his phone and texted the only person who could have helped him.

_**Shane, I need to talk to you.** _


	10. Calls and Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned this chapter a long time ago, (it was the one I was most excited about after the kiss) but this turned out longer then I expected anyway.
> 
> I am hoping I can get the next chapter up tomorrow, but I have like 4 online classes because of the coronavirus and not having been outside for weeks is making me want to die but HOPEFULLY, I can come up with something (since I've not planned it yet)

Shane was about to have a mental breakdown.  
Garrett had sent him a text, but he hadn't replied to the 10 calls and 5 messages he had sent his friend.

_**what happened??  
garrett??  
are you okay???  
i'm calling you  
i love you i'm here for you please call me back** _

He was panicking, he didn't know what to do.  
Shane hadn't called Andrew because he knew he was on his way.

He was about to freak out when he heard his phone ring.  
Garrett had texted him.

_Sorry, I was in the shower :P  
I am not dying, yet, don't worry_

_**what's happening then?? are you having another panic attack?** _

_No, but I will if I don't talk to someone about this_

Shane didn't need another text to know that he had to facetime Garrett right in that instant.

"Garrett, oh my God, are you okay?"

"I feel a bit better after the shower, but... yeah... I don't know." Garrett was itching his eye, and Shane swore he had never seen them so red and puffy.

"What happened?"

Garrett sighed, "A lot happened."  
He thought to himself before adding, "Is Andrew there?" 

"No, he's coming over later to discuss a few things, but not yet, why?"

"Nothing, just please don't tell him I called you."

"Oh my God, did something happen? Did you say anything?"

"About?"

"About your feelings."

"If you're thinking that I confessed, no, that did not happen."

"Thank God, cause I don't like the idea of you crying after that. "

Garrett chuckled nervously.

"Garrett? What do I need to know exactly?" Shane suspiciously asked.

"Well..."

"Garrett?" Shane saw his friend turn a bright shade of red and hiding his face in his hands.

"Andrew might have kissed me last night, and I might have kissed him back, and we might have made out for a while, and we might also have spent the night cuddling, and I might have got angry at him this morning for blaming it on me entirely."

Garrett heard Ryland dramatically gasp in the background and saw Shane just open his mouth and widen his eyes.  
Garrett was bracing for Shane's scream.

_3,2,1..._

"He did what?!"

_There it is._  
Garrett managed to laugh.

"When's the wedding?"

"Shane!"

"I am sorry. I ship it!"

"Me too." Garrett heard Ryland say.

"Guys, stop it! It's not gonna happen."

"Why not?" Shane asked.

"He's straight? And my best friend?"

"I thought I was your best friend," Shane jokingly replied.

Garrett giggled. "Shane, I am gonna block you."

"You could never. Also, since when straight guys kiss men?"

"He was wasted, and I don't know. I guess he was just confused."

"Garrett that doesn't happen. If Andrew kissed you, that means he's attracted to you."

Garrett groaned.

"Wait, question." 

Garrett hummed.

"Did he like it?" Shane grinned.

"I don't wanna know the details!" Ryland complained.

"Then leave, because I want to."

"What are you asking me exactly?"

"Don't play dumb, you know exactly what I am asking."

Garrett turned red again. "Yeah..."

Shane screamed, and Garrett started laughing again.  
"See? He can't possibly be straight."

"Ok then, let's say you're right. He's still a friend."

"And?" Shane asked as if the question was stupid and the answer obvious.

"No, Shane, Garrett's right. It never works out with friends."

Shane turned his head to glare at Ryland.

"Thanks, Ryland." Garrett was grateful someone understood his point of view.

"But," Ryland added, "You did already kiss. I've never been there myself, but I can't see how you guys could just forget about it and move on."

"I mean, Garrett and I kissed and became friends after."

"Yeah, Shane, but I wasn't exactly in love with you, remember?"

"You're right." Shane chuckled, "But I do think you guys should talk it out."

"I mean... We eventually will."

"No, I mean today or tomorrow or in the next few days because guess what."

"What?" Garrett asked worriedly.

"Because we're going on another squad trip!"

"Oh no, Shane!"

"Listen, I already booked it, I paid a lot of money, and you can't say no, because then people will think I am forgetting about you. Plus, you'll love it."

"Fine," Garrett sighed. "I'll pretend nothing happened just for the video."

"No, you can't. People will notice."

"Pfft, they won't."

"Wanna bet?"

Before Garrett could reply Shane received a text, he turned around and asked Ryland if he could open the door.

"He arrived, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Shane, don't you dare say anything to him."

Shane grinned, "Of course I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No!"

"Yes."

"Shane!"

"Bye, Garrett!"

Garrett was quite speechless.  
He hoped his friend wouldn't do anything extreme.  
His nerves calmed down, though, when he read a text.

_**don't worry baby. trust me. love you!!** _

_I trust you, don't make me regret it. Love you, too._

Garrett sighed and chuckled, his friend was truly something else.

_xxx_

Andrew prepared the lie again and again.

_I am gonna say that I have a secret girlfriend, that I am not ready to introduce her to them. Then in a couple days, when I eventually talk to Garrett again, and he tells me he doesn't want to see me anymore, I am going to come here, crying, and I am going to pretend she dumped me._

He was repeating it in his head over and over.  
He was ready.

Shane, on the other hand, was not ready, and as soon as he saw Andrew's neck he screamed.

Andrew turned a bright shade of red while mentally preparing himself to lie to Shane about something that had to do with his boss's own best friend.

Andrew didn't want to lose his job over a couple of hickeys, after all.

Shane wanted to play along, he knew Andrew would lie, he knew him quite well at that point.

"Andrew, had a tough night? Who's the lucky girl?" Shane was trying his best not to laugh, instead, he was smirking, trying to seem unsuspicious.

Andrew breathed in, ready to lie, as he should have to avoid being lynched by Shane.

Until his heart gave up, "I fucked up, Shane."

Shane's smirk dropped, he glanced at Ryland, then he looked back at Andrew and said, "Come in, we can talk about it."

The three of them sat down on the couch, and Shane asked Andrew the fateful question, "What happened?"

"I kissed Garrett," Andrew didn't see any surprised expression so he added, "But you probably knew that already."

Shane could only nod.

"Care to explain why? I'm not trying to be intruding or anything, I just think you owe an explanation to yourself before anyone else, and I don't think you have one." Ryland politely interrupted.

"Yeah, perhaps talking to us about it will help you."

"I guess so."

"Ok, let's start from the beginning," Shane started saying seriously, before Andrew's nervous laugh.

"I am sorry, it's just that this seems like one of your videos."

Shane chuckled, "Ok, so, what happened last night? Do you remember it?"

"Oh yeah, I wasn't _that_ drunk. We got home- I mean, we arrived at Garrett's house, and he put me to bed, I asked him to sleep in his bed with me, mostly because he has been having sleep issues, and I don't know why, but I felt this need to be really close to him."

Shane was slightly squinting his eyes, trying to concentrate.

"Then I said something really dumb, I looked at him, then he looked at him, and- and I just couldn't resist. I swear I fought it with all the sanity I had left."

"Then why did you give in?"

"Because I saw how he looked at me. In the moment, I felt important. I felt like Garrett wanted me to do it."

"How did you feel, during the whole thing."

Andrew felt dumb admitting it, "I don't think I ever felt better, I-"

"It's okay. You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to."

"Thank you."

"Do you regret it?"

"I don't know, Shane. That's the problem. I have no idea. How do I figure it out?"

"Just ask yourself, if you were to face absolutely no consequence, would you do it again?"

"Yeah."

"Then where's the problem?"

"I am not gay."

"You realize that bisexual and pansexual people exist right?"

"I am not bisexual!"

"Ok, I am offended," Shane replied to the defensive tone in Andrew's response.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Don't worry."

"How did you figure it out, anyway?"

"I just realized. There's no right way to do it, you just feel it."

Andrew looked down and hummed.

"Plus, you don't even need a label. Nathan was straight until he met Jeffree. Ok, no, bad example, they just broke up." Shane laughed.

Andrew hated that when he had heard about Jeffree and Nathan, his mind had immediately gone to Jeffree's blatant and declared attraction to Garrett.  
He felt very ashamed.

"Thank you, Shane, really."

"You're welcome, just, don't fuck with him, or I am punching you."

"Note taken."

"If you wanna fuck him, that is fine though."

"Shane!" Andrew screamed.

"Tell me if you need to talk again. Or if you need any _gaynswer_."

Andrew laughed, "Oh my God."

"Sorry, I felt _binspired_." 

Andrew giggled again.

The two of them discussed the next series and how they were going to handle the editing.  
Andrew learned that he had to figure out a lot of shit before the series.  
Mostly because being behind the camera and not talking to Garrett would have been painfully awkward to watch, and he knew the fans would notice.

Plus, he wanted to give the Gandrew stans (he had secretly looked up their ship name) new content.

"Before you go, do you need some concealer for that so that the police don't stop you on your way home, thinking you had a fight." Shane joked.

"Yeah, oh my God, I didn't think Garrett would be that aggressive." Ryland said before adding, "Did he ever do that to you?"

"We kissed, like, twice. It wasn't even that good." 

"Sure, bye Andrew," Ryland replied before leaving.

"That's a lie," Shane mouthed, "I still remember them very well."

"So they're good, right? It wasn't just me? I thought I was going crazy, I felt like a rookie."

Shane laughed, "Oh my God, yes, that boy has a gift. Don't tell Ryland, though."

"I heard you!"

"Whoops."

Andrew laughed, this time a genuine smile appeared on his face, he was glad he had decided to talk to Shane.


	11. Loneliness and Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very sorry, this chapter is not it, but i have been going through a bad time (if you don't know i live in italy and yeah, the situation is tragic)
> 
> my depression is making it hard to function because i have to organize my own time and i don't have deadlines or hours to respect and follow  
> that's also why i've been procrastinating with this chapter
> 
> i apologize, hopefully the next one is better!
> 
> enjoy anyway :)

Frank Ocean's Self Control filled the empty spaces in Garrett's room.

Garrett was holding the unicorn Andrew had gifted him once.  
What he stopped holding, though, were the tears that had built up between his self-deprecating thoughts.

The lyrics of the song he was listening to was speaking to his heart, the sound of the piano was shivering in his bones.  
If only Garrett had been less weak, Andrew wouldn't have known his secret or hated him.

His secret was his love for him, and the passion that carried Garrett's thoughts into adventurous territories when revolved around Andrew.

He was probably disgusted, and Garrett wouldn't have blamed him.  
Garrett was a very emotional person, but the amount of sadness and guilt that he was feeling was, if not new, very distant to him.

And it wasn't over a kiss. It was so much more.  
Because Garrett felt the weight of three years of love pushing him down.  
Because Garrett couldn't bear anymore with the pain in his heart.  
Because Garrett hated himself for falling.

He fell for his friend, and he fell hard.  
But he had only just started to realize it.  
The realization had been a gunshot to his chest, robbing him of tranquility.

He felt the pressure of passion, the intensity of every emotion.  
It was too much.

He was drowning in his own regret and hatred, and nothing in his mind seemed firm enough to bring him back to the surface of the water.

Love was painful, and Garrett hated it.

What Garrett also hated was the fact that he couldn't bring himself to reply to his friend.

_**how are you doing?  
i'm here for you  
please call me as soon as you can :(  
i love youu :,)** _

The self-hatred grew in Garrett's mind when he felt neither the energy nor the will to do anything.

He knew his friend would get worried, but Garrett didn't really care at that moment.

What he didn't expect was the call he received from another friend of his, a blonde, young woman.

He was so surprised he didn't think twice before answering the call.

"Hey, Garrett! Oh my God, you look like shit. What happened?"

Morgan never lied, or at least not to Garrett, so he decided to trust that Shane hadn't told her anything.

"Just stuff, don't worry. How are you, though? The last time I saw you, you were cry-laughing on the floor, wasted."

"Oh yeah, I slept through my morning hangover I think, I literally woke up at 5pm and went to sleep, like, 5 hours later."

Garrett chuckled, he could definitely relate to that.

"I miss hanging out together."

"Who are you? What have you done to Morgan."

"What," Morgan laughed.

"Did Shane tell you to call me?"

"Garrett, what? No, I literally just woke up." She squinted her eyes in confusion.

Garrett believed her.

"I just remembered what you told me the other night."

"Oh," Garrett felt guilty that he had doubted her good intentions.

"What happened, though? What did Shane do?"

"Oh, Shane did nothing, but he's worried about me, and I don't feel like replying to him, or anyone really."

"You answered my call."

"You're right."

"Can we meet?"

"Morgan..."

"We don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to share. I just want to spend some time with someone, and you came on my mind. And if you don't, I am unfriending you."

"Fine, what do you want to do?"

"Let's just go for a walk."

Garrett tilted his head as he stared at Morgan.

"Ok, you're right, let's just go eat something."

"Now you're talking, I'm all aboard for that."

xxx

An hour later Garrett was waiting for Morgan in his car.  
He wondered why he had agreed to go out, he did miss his friend, but all he wanted at that moment was sleep and angsty music.

Morgan got in his car with her usual smile and sunglasses.

"Goodmorning!"

"It's 2pm, Garrett."

"And your point is?" 

Morgan laughed, "What do you want to eat?"

"I am up for anything."

"I am craving pizza."

"Craving? What are you, pregnant?"

Morgan had tears in her eyes, somehow, Garrett noticed, she was the one who'd laugh the most at his jokes, even the unintentional ones.

Out of almost everyone, almost.

But Garrett didn't want to think about the one who usually cackled the most, he was happy to forget about him for a while.

As Garrett drove to the pizza place they had chosen, Morgan had put on his song (which sounded so weird to think for Garrett) and filmed him singing along, completely unaware.

Morgan posted the video on her Instagram Stories, while Garrett's laughing and weak disapproval echoed in the car.

Morgan had posted him singing his own part, and while they jokingly bickered, Caleb's and Andrew's parts were forgotten, and Garrett was thankful he didn't have to concentrate on Andrew's voice or explain why he didn't feel like singing along.

They spent all afternoon together, laughing and most importantly eating.

Garrett forgot about his problems for a while, that was until Morgan mentioned the terrifying name.

"I texted Andrew this morning, but he hasn't replied, yet. Have you heard from him?"

Garrett froze, his heart hurt in his chest.

_"I saw how you looked at Morgan."_

He saw Morgan's confused eyes, and he was sure, at that point, that Shane hadn't told her anything.

Morgan recognized the hurt look in her friend's eyes and said, "Oh my God, did anything happen with, Andrew? I swear didn't know!"

"Don't worry, but I'd rather not talk about it right now." Garrett offered her a small smile instead of an answer.

"It's okay, you don't have to. I'm sorry I asked."

"It's ok. You can ask Shane. I don't mind you knowing. I just don't want to bring it up."

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Yeah."

With that, Andrew was forgotten once again, this time a bit more easily, because Garrett had great friends who always seemed to know what to say at the right time.

Morgan spent the whole day at Garrett's, he helped her edit a video she didn't really like until she was completely sure she wanted to post it.

"You're an editing genius, Garrett."

"I know."

Morgan threw a pillow at him from across the room.  
Laughs were shared, jokes were told.  
Garrett loved spending time with her, she sometimes reminded him of his own sister.

_"Do you like her more than me?"_

Garrett wished that he liked Morgan more than him.  
It brought him back, to the times when, as a teenager, he wanted to be straight.  
This time, he didn't want to be straight, he just wanted not to fit into the gay-who-falls-for-his-best-friend stereotype.

Unfortunately, the barrier of distractions he had built to survive the day fell when Garrett's phone lit up.

**hey man, i need to talk to you**


	12. Parallelisms and Affinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so, i am here with another one but before you read, i want to thank all of you who left a comment on my fic in general but especially on the last one.
> 
> it's been a month since i've been outside and functioning has become very challenging, but your kind words have helped me a lot. thank you, this one is for you :,)

Similarly to his _friend_ (oh, how he wished he could call him a friend) Andrew was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, except, unlike Garrett, he had no plushie by his side.

Only regrets.

What he was regretting, though, was still very unclear to him.

He thought about Garett, and how he was probably listening to music in his bed.  
He decided to do the same, mostly because he was dying to be close to his friend, and that was the best and only option that crossed his mind.

He heard a piano and furrowed his brows, he didn't recognize the song.  
He had to have misclicked something because he was now listening to Harry Styles.

_I'm in my bed  
And you're not here  
And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands  
Forget what I said  
It's not what I meant  
And I can't take it back  
I can't unpack the baggage you left_

Andrew groaned.  
"Fuck you, Spotify."

Andrew wondered if the app's algorithm had somehow entered his brain or his heart.  
He made a note to himself to bring it up with Shane for a conspiracy.

He chuckled and put his hands on his face.

Thinking about Garrett was painful, but at least Harry Styles understood, right?

The song brought him back to his own thoughts, hard, pulsating thoughts that were shaking his heart with an unknown force.

Did Andrew regret the kiss? No.  
Did he regret the context he had chosen? Yeah.

That was the only solution in Andrew's mind.  
Perhaps if he had done it sober, everything would be different.

Because he saw it, the admiration in Garrett's eyes.  
The admiration he so hardly reciprocated, but couldn't bear to mention.

All it had taken was a touch for Andrew to fall in Garrett's arms and to let his lips torture him with pleasure.

Sometimes Andrew wondered what it would have been like if they had gone beyond kissing, what would have happened if his reason had completely abandoned his mind.

He was dying to know, but also grateful he didn't.  
If they had ended up even halfway there, Andrew knew, they couldn't have ever gone back.

The situation was somehow salvageable because they had controlled themselves.  
They could still get over it only because Garrett had been so respectful.

If it had been for Andrew, he would have let him do anything to him.  
While the thought was scary for the redhead, it was also reassuring.  
He had trusted Garrett and, as usual, he had not disappointed.

Andrew was convinced he was an angel.

There was no other explanation to his perfection, no other reason he could be so kind, beautiful, funny and lovable.  
He had no bad words for anyone, he was the sweetest, most precious person Andrew had ever met.

Andrew sighed and glanced at his phone, the song was ending, and he felt the need to listen to it again.  
But he didn't. Instead, he did the most foolish thing he could have thought of.

He texted him.

**hey man, i need to talk to you**

"What did I just do? Am I crazy? Oh my God, I am talking to myself. I am definitely going crazy."

He threw his phone on his bed, laid down on his stomach, and screamed with the soft fabric of his pillow gently covering the sound of his frustration.

_xxx_

If on one end of the phone line Andrew was screaming, on the other Garrett was silent.

Without a single word, he stared at the screen in his hands.

**hey man, i need to talk to you**

Garrett cringed slightly at the 'man' in front of him, didn't Garrett deserve something more than a 'hey man'?  
Weren't they past the 'bro', 'pal', 'dude', thing at this point?  
Or had Andrew already forgotten everything?

He shivered at the thought of him forgetting, even though he was guilty of wishing the same.  
Garrett wished he could forget the taste of ambrosia and the redness of his cheeks, the sound of his lust.

Instead, he forgot to move and speak for a while, to the point where Morgan had to yell at him to bring him in his senses.

"Garrett!"

"Huh?"

"Who texted you? And what did they say that upset you so much?"

"Andrew."

"Oh. What did he say?"

"He said he needs to talk to me."

"Ouch," Morgan chuckled, "that's never a good sign."

Garrett sighed, "Am I even prepared to see him again?"

"What scares you?"

"I don't know, I am still so hurt."

"Yeah, but perhaps he wants to apologize." 

"Probably."

"So?" Morgan was confused.

"What if I don't want to see him?" Garrett looked up and down at his hands.

"Then don't."

"But Shane said-"

"Forget what Shane said, what do you want?"

"I don't know." Garrett picked up his phone to stare at the text again, "I really don't know."

"Talk to me."

"I- I don't know what to do, what do I tell him? That I love him? I can't."

"Is that the truth?" Garrett looked up at her as she spoked. "Because if it is, yes."

"So I just say, 'Hey, Andrew, look, I've been in love with you since we've met, but can you please forget about it and move on?'" Garrett sarcastically asked.

"Maybe not like that." Morgan laughed. "Just be honest, listen to what he has to say and then see where it goes."

"I-"

"Or you just don't go."

"Can I? Or is it calling our friendship over?"

"I don't know, but Andrew is a very reasonable man, and if you say that you need time, I am sure he'll understand. I am also very sure that I don't want you to have another panic attack."

Garrett smiled at her.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I'll meet him."

"Good."

Garrett smiled again.

"Go on."

"Huh?"

"You have a text to reply to, no?"

"Oh, right."

Morgan laughed as Garrett reluctantly texted Andrew back.

**Fine. When?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i know, making andrew listen to 'falling' by harry styles was a bit cliché, BUT, in my defense, when i wrote chapter 8 (even though the name of the fic was inspired by it) i didn't intend for it to match so well with the song, it just kind of happened and one day at 4am i started spiraling when i realized the connections, i just had to.


	13. Misunderstandings and Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I think you're gonna both hate me and love me at the same time for this one. ;)
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Andrew was sitting in his car, taking big breaths in, trying to maintain his composure.

"I can do this. It's just Garrett."

"Yeah, Andrew, you fool, it is Garrett that's why you're terrified."

Andrew sighed. "I should stop talking to myself."

"Oh yeah, you should."

Andrew almost jumped out of his car window when he heard Garrett.

"Seriously, man, stop scaring me."

Garrett laughed, "Sorry I saw you from my window, what exactly are you doing in there? Come in."

Andrew blushed a bit and was thankful when his friend didn't notice.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy."

"No, it's not."

"Seriously? I've been trying to reorganize stuff, but nothing seems clean enough."

"I think that's just anxiety talking, your house looks just as clean as it was a week ago."

"Oh, thank God."

"Garrett," Andrew started as he closed the door behind him, "I want to apologize."

"Me too."

"Wait, why?" Andrew furrowed his brows.

"You first." Garrett wasn't going to make a fool of himself before Andrew told him what he needed to.

"I am sorry, I freaked out over something irrelevant."

Garrett stopped in his tracks as he was about to sit down on his couch. His blood froze. His mind sparked with adrenaline.

"Irrelevant?"

"Wasn't it?"

"I can't believe you. I even thought... Nevermind." Garrett's thoughts were racing in his brain. He was looking everywhere except at Andrew, his eyes clearly hurt, frantically trying not to tear up.

Andrew was confused to say at least, but he put a hand on Garrett's arm to force him to look in his eyes.

"Garrett, calm down. I was talking about the hickeys. What are you talking about?"

Garrett's eyes met Andrew's, and the confusion was shared between them.

"Wait, what? I-"

"I am not apologizing for kissing you if that's what you thought."

"You're not?" Garrett felt the intensity of Andrew's look.

"Do you want me to?" He asked gently.

"No," he breathed out.

"Good, then I won't."

"I am so confused."  
Garrett's words were met with a chuckle.

"I am so sorry I overreacted about the hickeys."

"No, you were right. I apologize, I should have been more careful."

"You don't regret it," Andrew realized.

"Is that a question?"

"Not really, no." Andrew didn't need to ask for an answer, which he already had.

"Do you?" As much as Garrett was scared of the answer, he found the courage to ask anyway.

"In a way. I just wish I hadn't been drunk. That's all."

Garrett raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. I hate the fact that you're even doubting I wanted it just as much as you. And you're probably thinking you took advantage of the situation, which you didn't."

Garrett blinked twice before starting, "How did you? Who-"

"Nobody told me. I knew. I know you." Andrew smiled.

"Oh." 

"You did nothing wrong. We- we did nothing wrong."  
Andrew stepped closer, and it took all of Garrett's will not to do the same.

"I am glad you don't hate me." That's all Garrett managed to say.

"Could I ever?" Andrew looked up to meet blue eyes.

"Well..." Garrett smiled and replied.

"Garrett." Andrew's tone was scolding.

"No, listen. Everything in my head is messed up right now. I don't even know what I want for dinner, let alone-"

"Then let's figure it out together. No pressure."

"What are you saying?" Garrett felt his knees weakening.  
_He can't be serious._

Andrew bit his lip, looking at his right, not being able to make eye contact anymore.  
"I want- I need to find out who I am. And you're the only one who can help me, Garrett."

Garrett's eyebrows furrowed again, he opened his mouth and hesitated a second before saying, "So now you want me to be your gay awakening dummy?"

Andrew's eyes blinked a few times in shock. He was taken aback by Garrett's question.  
"That's not what I meant, and you _know_ for fuck's sake that I would never do that to you."

"Then," Garrett sighed, "what do you mean?"

"I like you."

Garrett almost snorted, "No, you don't." He looked at Andrew, and all he could see was determination.

"Garrett." 

But Garrett was equally as determined.  
"No, you don't. You can't. You're straight. You told me, loud and clear."

"I thought so, but-"

"No, Andrew. I refuse to believe it. I refuse to believe that for years I have been hurting about this when it was all... pointless. I don't want to believe you. You're just confused."  
Garrett turned around and put his hands behind his head in frustration.

Andrew didn't know what to say. He was hurt, but finding out that Garrett had been hurting for years because of him made sadness and guilt replace the rage.

"Listen, I don't know what Shane told you, but whatever it was, whatever plan you two have, I don't want to hear it. You'll just end up making it more painful."

"I can't believe you."

Garrett turned back around to see Andrew's distressed gaze.

"Everything has to be about you, doesn't it? How about how I feel? I talked to Shane, yes, but it wasn't about you. We didn't talk about you, we talked about me. Because you are making my life impossible right now, you're twisting my world upside down. You're making me question things I was so sure of." 

Andrew's lip was trembling, and his voice started shaking at the last few words he emitted.

"Yes, you're right. I did tell you I was straight, but have you thought that maybe I realized something I had not before? Did you forget what it cost you to accept your sexuality, or do I need to remind you?"

Garrett couldn't speak or formulate any thought, he could just stare at his eyes and listen.

"For once this is not about what you want, this is about what _I_ want. I wanted to explain how I think I like you and talk to you about it, maybe that way I could figure it out, but you didn't even let me finish." Andrew opened his arms in frustration.

When Garrett was sure Andrew was over, he breathed out, "I am-"

"I know you're sorry, Garrett."  
He stepped closer and reached for his cheek.

Garrett sank in the warmth of Andrew's hand. He let out a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. 

"But I need help figuring stuff out just as much as you do, and I can't do that if you think I am even capable of lying to you about my feelings." Andrew's voice was soft and gentle. "Please, when you're convinced that I am not here for a charity case, call me. You have my number, cause we are friends, remember?" An equally soft smile accompanied his words.

Garrett nodded, looking at Andrew as the latter gently brushed his cheek with his thumb.

Garrett dared to speak, he dared to say the words that were desperately trying to come out of his mouth.

"I love you." 

The words came out softly, almost a whisper, a small sound that resonated loudly in Andrew's heart, as its beat started accelerating.

The redhead reached for Garrett's face, on his tiptoes, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips on Garrett's cheek, right where his thumb had just rested.  
He then rested his forehead there, finally feeling the vanilla scent he had so severely missed.

Garrett breathed in deeply and closed his eyes. Andrew's sweet gesture filled his heart with warmth, and he suddenly felt better, more relaxed, calmer.

Andrew looked at Garrett, he decided he needed to give him just a bit more space and time, to let him figure his own stuff. 

With a single gaze, Garrett understood and silently thanked him with a timid smile.

With that, Andrew left, after saying, whispering as well, "I know."


	14. Distractions and Excitement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the other day i was daydreaming about writing a fic about the boys quarantining together, little did i know it'd be canon :')
> 
> still, i kinda want to write a one-shot about it, let me know!
> 
> in the meantime, enjoy!!

Two days went by, and neither Garrett nor Andrew had found the courage to call, see, or even text the other, only a couple of memes were shared through Instagram, accompanied with even fewer emojis, and a single, almost provocative, 'that's you'.

Garrett was calm.  
He still respected his new daily goals, and he still functioned normally, or at least as normal as he could.

He had learned a few new recipes through the hours spent on youtube out of boredom.  
He had to admit that he was getting better at cooking, and more generally, at being an adult.

There were times when Garrett was ashamed he was still acting like a college student when he was in his thirties.

He wasn't bothered by aging, but he was bothered about his future.  
What was he going to do in ten or even five years? 

What were his dreams again?

Professionally speaking, he had none he could remember, except, of course, to keep making things he loved to edit.

Romantically speaking, he wanted to be with Andrew, in any way he would want him to; he didn't care anymore, if he wanted to be just friends, which Garrett still found slightly plausible, he'd accept.

Andrew, on the other hand, was being anguished by his doubts.  
He missed the confidence that had brought him at Garrett's. He missed the certainty he had had two days prior.

One thing he was sure of, he missed Garrett so much, and he was so glad he could finally see him again.

xxx

It was morning-ish, and Andrew was surprised to see a text from Garrett so early.

**Want me to pick you up later?**

Andrew bit his lip, trying not to smile too hard. He swore Garrett was the only one who could make him feel like a teenager again.

**yeah, thanks :)**

Andrew didn't know how to convey the please-kiss-me-as-soon-as-you-see-me vibe through a text, so he decided to go for the I-am-not-mad-at-you-hope-you-aren't-either one.

They were supposed to leave for somewhere to stay in a haunted hotel.  
He also knew that they were supposed to get an airplane again and that they'd be away for two days. 

That was all he knew, and he doubted anyone else knew more than him, or that Shane would say anything more at all because he sure knew his boss loved to surprise everyone.

A few hours later, Garrett texted him that he had arrived, and Andrew ran outside.  
He didn't know why, but he needed to see him as soon as possible.

Andrew almost tripped down the stairs as he opened the front door of his apartment building and stopped in his tracks.  
He looked at Garrett, and he couldn't stop a smile from creeping up on him.

Garrett was sitting in his car, his windows rolled down, his arm out of the window. He was singing, what song Andrew couldn't tell, but he sure hoped Garrett wouldn't stop with him in the car.

"Hey." 

"Hi, Andrew, come in!"

Andrew almost gasped at Garrett's cheerful tone, he didn't expect it, but he was glad, he loved it.

"Where do you think Shane is taking us this time?"

"I don't know, but I am really excited!"  
Andrew knew Garrett loved spooky things. He didn't really, but he was happy to see his excitement, and maybe, he thought, it would transmit. 

"Did Shane tell you anything at all?"

"Only that we're flying to a haunted hotel."

"Oh, yeah, I figured."

Garrett smiled at him, and Andrew's heart fluttered, he was finally starting to gain that confidence back.

The drive to Shane's was calm but comfortable, music and humming, a couple of glances, and shy smiles.

The two of them entered their friends' house receiving knowing glances by the others.

Andrew looked at Shane, but he was looking somewhere else. His eyes were locked with Garrett's glare.

Andrew looked up to him, he seemed troubled about something.

Shane interrupted his thoughts, "Are we all okay?" 

"Yeah?" Ryland replied.

"Garrett?"

"Yes."

"Well, then, let's start filming." Shane handed the camera to Andrew.

Andrew filmed as Shane started explaining to everyone what they were doing, and he assumed he had already filmed an intro by himself.

Shane told nothing more than what Andrew already knew.

He was a bit nervous, he didn't want to fly for too many hours because his anxiety didn't really like the idea of being stuck in an airplane for too long.

Andrew heard Shane mention they were running late and that they'd talk in the Uber.

He was, of course, asked to 'pull some Caseys' as Shane called it.

He prepared himself to look for every aesthetic shot possible, even though he already knew they'd be used just for comedic purposes.  
He also reminded himself not to point the camera towards Garrett too much, but to still do it enough times so no one would start to speculate, or worry.

Garrett shared a few words with Shane before getting in the Uber, and Andrew was left wondering if they were talking about him.

Everyone jumped in the car, and Andrew started shooting semi-wannabe-artistic bits of everyone.

Still, somehow, even after all of the pep-talk to get himself to focus on his job, his camera lingered a bit too long on Garrett's figure.

Andrew just couldn't help it.

"Shane, where are we going?" Morgan was the first one who dared to ask.

"Yeah, tell us, this better not be Texas part dos."

"Oh no, I'd rather not have all of them," Shane pointed at the camera, clearly referring to fans, "mad at me for yelling at you again."

"Oh." Garrett laughed and so did Shane, and Andrew was glad things between them were good.

_So maybe they were talking about me._

"Fine, I'll tell you as soon as we arrive at the airport."

"Shane!" Garrett laughed.

"See you there."

"Didn't you say that the other time as well?" Andrew pronounced his first words in the car, everyone turned around to look at him and laughed.

"I did, didn't I?" Shane sighed, "I am getting old, thanks for reminding me, Andrew." That caused another shared giggle in the car.

The drive went by quite quickly, everyone was looking at their phones, casually talking.

He saw Morgan and Garrett show each other something and laugh.  
This time, he wasn't jealous, thankfully.  
Three words had resolved three days of doubts about his friends' vibe.

_I love you._

There it was again, the feeling of his heartbeat skipping.  
He was almost getting used to it.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder, coming from the backseat.

"Andrew, we're at the airport."

He turned around to find Morgan motioning him to get out of the car.

"Oh, right, sorry."

Everyone gathered around Shane as soon as they all entered the airport, and Andrew started filming again. 

"Ok squad," Shane stopped to laugh at himself, "I sound crazy."

"You sound like a woman trying to be a cool mom." Morgan joked and everyone laughed.

"I should retire," Shane jokingly sighed before continuing, "you all already know we will be staying in a haunted hotel, right?"

"Which one?"

"Guys, girl, old woman," Shane said receiving an amused laugh from Garrett, "we will be staying at the Malaga Inn."

Garrett gasped, "Shane!"

"I knew you were going to love it," Shane said through a smile.

"I hate haunted videos," Ryland complained.

"I love them," Garrett replied.

Andrew smiled at Garrett's excitement, it was starting to rub off on him a little.

"Ok, but where is it? I don't wanna be stuck with Garrett for more than an hour," Morgan said while Garrett laughed.

"It's your lucky day then, cause you won't be stuck with Garrett for an hour."

"Oh, thank God."

"You'll be stuck with him for six," Shane said in his usual overly excited way.

Garrett laughed. "I am sorry, Morgan."

"Did you bring any snacks? Because if there's food, maybe I can manage."

"Oh, I sure did."

"Ok then, I changed my mind. Let's go, Garrett." Morgan said, somehow managing to look completely serious, while she wrapped her arm around Garrett's, and started walking away.

Everyone followed laughing as Andrew tried his best to concentrate on his job, which was hard considering the scene he had just watched.

Andrew didn't know what to think, because he knew a few days ago it would have made his blood boil, someone mistreating Garrett, even as a joke.  
But at that moment, Andrew saw a difference in Garrett's eyes.  
Then his mind traveled to a few days prior, to when he saw Morgan's IG story with Garrett singing.

They were hanging out on their own, they were fine, and Andrew wasn't jealous.

As his thoughts spared him, he went back to his camera, capturing the exact moment Garrett said something hilarous.

"Ok, but where is it, anyway?" Ryland asked.

"Did I forget to tell you?" Shane laughed, "It's in Alabama."

"Oh, I am _so_ glad I didn't bring my gay hat this time." Garrett stated.

Andrew almost choked he was laughing so hard.

"I'd get shot immediately."

Shane was cry-laughing, and Andrew tried his best to not shake the camera too hard, even though he was not even breathing properly because of the intense giggling.

"I don't want to get shot. I mean... it _would_ make a good video."

"Garrett!" Shane laughed, failing to sound serious again.

"Chill, I am joking." Garrett pressed his lips together, looked up and added, "...Unless?"

Shane smirked in his usual sarcastic way at him right before everyone started laughing again.

Meeting Garrett's delighted eyes, Andrew was finally convinced that it would be a fun trip.  
Now, he was really excited.


	15. Whispers and Hopes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not that great, but i wanted to post something for the month-versary of this fic lmao!  
> (i can't believe i've been stuck home for so long omg)
> 
> anyway, this one is mostly a transitional one, you'll have more fun in the next one! 
> 
> don't forget to please leave any feedback if you don't mind :)
> 
> enjoy!!

Everyone was getting on the airplane when Andrew felt a hand on his shoulder.

"If you don't feel like it, you don't have to film. I think everyone had enough of my terrified ass in the last one." 

Andrew smiled at Shane. He had seen right through him. "Thank you."

As the rest of the gang caught up with them, Shane showed everyone their seats.

Shane and Ryland were sitting together, obviously, while Garrett, Morgan, and Andrew were sitting together.

Andrew was bummed he didn't have Garrett right by his side, especially because his anxiety was building up on him. His way to fight it was putting headphones on and listening to the playlist Garrett had made for him.  
He tried his best to take his mind off of everything.

A few hours in, Andrew was about to fall asleep when he heard Morgan ask him to let her go to the bathroom, apologizing profusely for making him move.

As Morgan left, Garrett tilted his head to see if Shane or Ryland were looking at them, and when he was sure they weren't, he didn't hesitate to reach and put his hand right on the spot that had just been emptied.

Andrew looked at Garrett's hand resting on Morgan's seat, then looked up at him.  
Garrett never did anything without a specific reason, at least not when it came to Andrew, and the latter knew his friend very well.

He reached for the demanding hand next to him and was very glad to see a smile creep on Garrett's lips, one that he was desperately trying to conceal.

Andrew almost laughed out loud at the cute face Garrett was making, trying not to smile.  
His heart melted, as per usual, when Garrett did anything funny, cute, or anything at all.

"It will be alright," Garrett said.

"I know," Andrew replied, with a small smile, as he thought to himself.  
_If I'm with you._

Garrett's smile finally shined fully when Andrew started brushing his hand with his thumb.

Andrew saw Morgan come back from the toilet, so he gave a squeeze to Garrett's hand and let go.

The two of them smiled at each other for the last time. They tried to pretend nothing had just happened, but little did they know that everyone had seen the cute exchange.

Everyone, including Morgan, who, as she sat down, asked, "So, you two wanna tell me anything or nah?"

"Nah?" Andrew tentatively said, looking at Garrett.

Garrett nodded to him and said as well, "Nah."

"Well then," Morgan squinted her eyes, trying to be intimidating, but failing miserably, "I better know everything soon enough, or I am blocking both of you on IG."

"Pfft," Garrett replied, "You wouldn't. Who else would give you such premium comedy content to repost if you do?"

Andrew laughed loudly, as he usually did with every joke Garrett ever made, and Morgan joined him.

The flight went by quite serenely, and Andrew finally managed to fall asleep.  
When Morgan noticed, she turned her head and asked Garrett, "Spill the beans, Watts. Did you tell him?"

"Morgan," Garrett warned her.

"He's sleeping, come on."

Garrett looked over her shoulder and saw a sleeping Andrew.  
_He looks calmer, finally._

"Ok, you lovesick goof, tell me!"

"Yeah."

Morgan squealed, and he immediately shushed her.

Garrett glimpsed Shane waving his arms frantically, trying to get his attention from his seat.  
He was mouthing 'what happened', Garrett shook his head and mouthed back, 'later".

"So? What did he tell you?"

"None of your business." 

Morgan gasped. "Rude."

Garrett laughed. "Ok, ok. The only thing I can tell you is that we're okay."

"I am not blind. I saw that myself. Give me the tea."

Garrett chuckled. "Please, don't say that ever again."

Morgan jokingly slapped his arm. 

"I am not saying anything unless Andrew says it's okay."

"Did you two kiss?"

"Morgan!" Garrett warned her in a moderately loud stage whisper.

"Sorry!" Morgan cackled.

On the other side of the airplane aisle, Shane was getting curious again. He started to flail his arms very dramatically, causing Garrett to laugh and point at him. "Please look at Shane."

Morgan almost spat out the iced coffee she was drinking when she saw him, making everyone laugh.

"What's the tea?" Shane said, a bit too loudly, failing to keep his voice down.

Morgan and Garrett shushed him, pointing at Andrew, who unfortunately the noise had just woken up.

"See, you woke him up!" Garrett pointed out.

"It's my fault you don't wanna tell me." Shane retorted.

Andrew stirred a bit, before noticing everyone had their eyes on him.

"Tell you what?" He asked with a rough voice.

"Don't worry your little head, sleepy boy," Morgan said while patting his head lightly.

Garrett chuckled, still a bit shaken at the sole detecting of Andrew's bed voice.

"How long did I sleep for?"

"Not even an hour. Shane's fault," Morgan said, pointing at him, and receiving a glare from Shane.

"Forgive him. He's drugged." Ryland added.

Andrew sighed, and Garrett reassured him: "Don't worry, 'Drew. We're almost there anyway."

And, indeed, they almost where.  
About an hour later, the airplane landed in Mobile, Alabama.

Morgan and Garrett excitedly dragged Andrew along with them on a _fantastic adventure_ to the souvenir shop.  
Shane managed to catch that on camera before pointing it at himself, saying, "I love having 3 kids."

Ryland replied, "Let the kids have fun, dad."

Shane laughed and turned the camera off.

"In all seriousness, what do you think happened?" Shane asked.

"I have no idea. I think they talked it out. I hope they're good."

"Andrew seems nervous, but Garrett seems fine. I don't get it. If Garrett confessed, which I'm assuming he did, does that mean they're together? I didn't think Andrew was ready, yet."

"Stop overthinking about it."

"They sure seem fine. I just-"

"Shane, let them be. They're grown adults. Stop prying, they'll tell you if they want to."

"You're right," Shane sighed, "I am just really nervous."

"I know, baby."

"I just hope nobody gets their heart broken."


	16. Jealousy and Playfulness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i planned this chapter i didn't intend for it to take this turn, but i am glad it did.  
> sometimes things don't go exactly the way you planned, but that can be good.  
> this chapter basically wrote itself, and that's, in my humble opinion, what should always happen.
> 
> enjoy :)

"Before we check-in, let's grab something to eat."

"Music for my ears."

It was the evening, the 'squad', as Shane insisted on calling it, was on its way to eat dinner.  
They were all so hungry no one protested when Ryland proposed to just choose the random restaurant in front of the car rental place.

"I am so hungry."

"When are you not, Garrett?"

"Good point."

Everyone sat at the table, the place looked casual but nice.  
They called for a waiter to take their orders, and a very good looking young man approached their table.

Andrew's gut started twisting when he noticed the look he was giving Garrett.

Garrett never did it on purpose, Andrew knew it, whenever a stranger was talking to him, his natural niceness always ended up being confused for flirting.

But that guy was smiling to him, not even bothering to hide it, he was ignoring everyone else, only focusing on Andrew's man.

_Well, technically he's not my man, but-_

"Where are you guys from?" The waiter asked, of course, to Garrett.

"LA," he replied.

"It must be so interesting living there-"

"Garrett, have you ordered, yet?"  
Everyone stopped to look at Andrew. His voice was stern, almost a provocation, or better: a warning.

Garrett turned his head to look at Andrew sitting next to him. His eyes were firm on the waiter, determined to force the conversation to end.

"Uhm," he turned to the waiter, "Grilled chicken breast and a baked potato with a side of salad."

"It won't take long."

"Thanks."

Garrett turned to look at Andrew again, but he refused to look back at him.  
Instead, Andrew was looking at Shane, whose eyes were confused and mouth slightly open, in a surprised expression.

Andrew's eyes were begging Shane to start a conversation, and the other understood immediately.

"Eating healthy, huh?" He asked Garrett, who was equally as interested in changing the topic.

"I am trying."

"And you're not even drinking," Morgan pointed out.

"Yeah, I just stopped taking Xanax the other day I'd rather let it out of my system fully."

"Xanax?" Ryland asks.

"It's for panic attacks."

"You had another one?" Shane worriedly asked.

"No, the one you already know about."

Morgan added, "I remember you telling me the other day."

"Wait a second," Shane interrupted, "You were driving on Xanax?"

"Oops?"

"Garrett!" Shane yelled at him.

"I am sorry, I forgot." Garrett raised his hands in defense.

"You could have killed yourself," Shane clapped back.

"You could have killed Andrew!" Ryland added.

Garrett's mouth opened, and his eyes widened as he turned to look at Andrew.

"I- I really forgot. I am so sorry." He turned to look at Ryland for a second, "I would have _never_ put Andrew's life at risk."

He turned his head when Andrew put a hand on his arm.

"Next time, be more careful, please."

"I will." Garrett stared at him.

Andrew met his words with soft and understanding eyes.

"Ahem." Morgan interrupted.

Andrew turned a bright shade of magenta while Garrett saw Ryland's amused look and Shane trying not to laugh.

"Anyway, why aren't _you_ drinking?" Shane asked Andrew, who was trying to cover his blushing cheeks by drinking his glass of water, prompting him to choke on the sip he was taking.

"Are you okay?" Both Ryland and Garrett asked the redhead, who was coughing aggressively.

Andrew gave them a thumbs up, his face finally returning to his normal skin color.

Morgan, on the other hand, was bending over with laughter, and Shane just sarcastically added, failing at trying to maintain his seriousness, "Oops. Sorry I asked. My bad. I _totally_ forgot what happened the last time."

Garrett and Andrew glared at him before joining in, and soon the whole table was laughing.

Andrew looked sideways and then up to meet Garrett's eyes, sharing a small secretive smile.

They all finished their food and were about to leave when Garrett excused himself to go to the bathroom, and Andrew followed.

He stopped Garrett before entering in the bathroom stall with him.

"Oh. Following me, I see how it is."

Andrew looked up at him. "Shut up."

"Before I do, wanna tell me what was up with you back there?"

"You tell me. What was up with you and the waiter?"

"You're jealous, Andrew Siwicki?"

"You bet your ass I am."

Garrett was now pinned against the bathroom wall, a bit weirded out, but very pleasantly surprised.

"That back there, the jealousy, it turned you on, didn't it?" 

Garrett let out a laugh, grabbed Andrew by his waist and made him replace his former spot against the wall.

"A bit," he said, causing Andrew to grin.

Garrett looked at Andrew, who was now stuck in between his arms.  
He smirked and started to lean in, but, instead of a pair of lips, Garrett's mouth met a single finger.

"Huh, uh. Not so fast, gentleman. I am not gonna let that slide so easily." Andrew was now grinning evilly.

Garrett laughed and stepped back, "You like to see me suffer, don't you?"

"A bit." He said, before stepping out of the bathroom stall.

"I hate you."

"Why don't you go ask the waiter then?" Andrew asked sarcastically, his grin maleficent.

Garrett laughed. "Ok, jealous boy, I'll get you sooner or later, but now, excuse me, I need to pee," he said before closing the door.

Andrew laughed and looked up, a bit embarrassed by what he had just done.  
There it was again, the schoolgirl feeling.

Garrett came out and washed his hands, "You're still here? I thought you were going to call the waiter for me." He leaned on the sink and crossed his arms playfully.

"You wish."

"Nah, I long for someone else."

"Really? They must be really cute if they can compare with Mr. White Shirt over there."

"Yeah, he's great. You should meet him one day." 

Andrew chuckled, "Come on before they think we're dead."

Garrett grabbed Andrew's arm before he could leave.

"I hope you know I would never put you at risk voluntarily."

"I know, Garrett. But I want you to be careful for yourself. What would I do without you?"

Garrett smiled at him, and the two of them caught up with the others.

"What took you ladies so long?" Shane joked, and Garrett laughed.

Everyone headed to the car they had rented, Ryland was talking to Andrew, while the other three were slightly behind them.

"Garrett, I need to tell you something," Shane started.

"Yes?"

"You're sharing a room. Hope you don't mind."

"Shane!"

"Don't yell at me, it wasn't my idea. Morgan was supposed to stay with you two, but she refused."

"Morgan!" Garrett turned to her.

"Listen, I am already fifth wheeling here. I deserve the nicer room."

"Fine, but you tell Andrew it wasn't my idea." Garrett turned to Shane.

"Oh, he already knows."

"What?"

"Yeah, and he's cool with it, unlike you, which is surprising. You've shared a room before, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Then what?"

"You're right," Garrett admitted. "Friends, friends, no matter what, we're still friends," he reminded himself.

Shane smirked at him, and Garrett furrowed his brows.

"What now?"

"You two are so cute," Shane said, smiling.

"Shut up," Garrett replied, laughing.


	17. Ghosts and Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen there's so much i need to say about this chapter:
> 
> 1) i didn't get into detail about ghost hunting cause i am neither an expert nor a native English speaker (you're probably not surprised thanks to the number of grammar mistakes i make everytime)
> 
> 2)i'm sorry if you don't like this one, i did my best, but i swear I'll make it up to you with the next one (i have been thinking about it for days i am excited!)
> 
> 3)i am leaving links at the end for both places this chapter is set in, if you want you can take a look!
> 
> feedback is always really welcome, but this week it'd be much more appreciated cause reading your comments makes me so happy and i'd need that since i am sick sigh
> 
> sorry for the long rant, thank you so much for sticking around
> 
> enjoy! :)

Garrett was excited, that was quite obvious, but Andrew never thought he'd see him jump in enthusiasm.

"This hotel is believed to be one of the most haunted hotels in Alabama. Several guests have reported seeing the ghost of a woman dressed in white pacing the balcony of room #007.  
Many other guests have witnessed a chandelier swinging back and forth, lights coming on all by themselves, and furniture pieces mysteriously moving around on their own." He explained to the camera.

"And that excites you?" Ryland asked.

"Uhm, hello, Garrett Watts, nice to meet you." Garrett jokingly offered him his hand.

Shane laughed, "From what I read, reviews complain about loud noises and stuff."

"Apparently," Garrett started reading from his phone, "Tunnels still run under the two buildings, and they may have something to do with the hotel’s paranormal occurrences. The current owners believe the tunnels were used by Confederate soldiers to hide during the war, and their coming and going may be responsible for the mysterious movement of beds and other furniture around the hotel."

"Soldiers? This time I better get dragged by some ghost," Morgan joked.

"Additionally, guests report lamps becoming unplugged and unusual swaying of the chandelier that hangs in the lobby. Most notably, though, is the Lady in White.  
Originally spotted walking the veranda of Room 007, the mysterious figure comes and goes with no apparent rhyme or reason. Her visage has been reported through the years by hotel staff and guests, and a sighting of her is sure to be a highlight for ghost-seeking visitors."

Garrett was frantic, he loved whatever was paranormal, he didn't care about consequences, he invited ghosts to him.

 _"Imagine having a ghost friend who follows you everywhere and looks after you? Like Casper!"_ He had told Andrew once.

Andrew, on the other hand, wasn't scared, he just felt on edge, whenever he was ghosthunting with the others something had to happen.

Yes, they'd exaggerate it for entertainment's sake, but there was always some truth behind the hyperboles.

"You good, Andrew?" Garrett flashed him a big smile.

"Yeah." Nervous or not, he wasn't going to ruin the night for Garrett. He was an adult, after all, and adults don't believe in ghosts and, most of all, don't get scared, right?

In fact, Andrew was soon going to be proven wrong.

They checked out both of the rooms, one of them, of course, being the infamous room #007.

"Ew," Shane exclaimed as he entered.

"Ew? This is beautiful," Garrett replied in awe.

"Beautiful, Garrett? It's scary as fuck."

"Doesn't make it any less beautiful."

"Thank you for that," Shane sarcastically replied, "But look at the fucking portraits hanging on the wall. Is that the White Lady? This place is haunted, I can already tell."

"It's not," Ryland added, "Definitely not like the Queen Mary."

"Nothing will ever beat that," Garrett told him.

"I still have nightmares," Shane confessed.

"Did you guys forget I almost died on that ship?" Morgan pointed out.

"Oh, right." Shane laughed before turning to Andrew, "What do you think?"

Andrew looked around. The walls were of a pretty baby blue color, the furniture was wooden and the decoration minimal, but older looking. He had to admit though, the paintings did look unsettling.  
"I think it looks nice, not my style, but definitely not scary."

"Oh okay, Mr. Interior Designer," Shane joked.

"Wanna see the other room?" Ryland proposed.

The other room was bigger and had a more modern approach to decor, and it looked way less spooky.

"Oh, I am definitely staying in this one," Ryland announced.

"What, you don't wanna get dragged by spirits at night?" 

"No?" He replied to his sister.

"Can't relate." Morgan put up her hoodie, looking at the camera, making Garrett and Shane laugh.

They started their ghosthunting at midnight, and they stayed up till four-ish in the morning.

Garrett and Shane had come prepared, and even though the hotel was smaller than usual, and was very pretty looking, Andrew experienced some of the most intense paranormal situations of his entire life.

Doors closed on their own, the lights went out then came back on, they all heard footsteps everywhere, and the EVP recordings were crazy.

They were making their way to room seven again when everyone stopped because of a loud noise filling the empty hallway. 

Shane screamed, Ryland jumped, while Morgan complained saying she didn't want to be haunted again after her crystal experience.

Andrew was a bit scared, but somehow seeing Garrett's delighted eyes calmed him. Garrett was so happy and interested, Andrew for a second thought he could have been pulling a prank on everyone.

But he was proved wrong for both the prank belief and thinking adults couldn't get scared or believe in ghosts when Shane started tearing up from the intense situation.

"Shane, are you okay?" Morgan noticed first his discomfort.

"This is too much, I'm sorry." Shane turned his head away from the camera.

"Let's stop this," Ryland stated, hugging Shane and letting him rest his forehead on his shoulder.

"Yeah, Garrett?"

"Oh my God, of course." 

"I am so sorry," Shane sobbed.

"It's okay, Shane," Garrett told him. He stepped closer and put a hand on his back. 

Shane looked up from Ryland's shoulder to meet Garrett's small smile.

"Go and sleep in the other room, Shane."

"You're not coming?"

"No, I am gonna stay in this room and keep the ghosts company so they don't bother you at night, and you can sleep well."

Shane let out a tired laugh, stuck his bottom lip out and gave a small smile to his friend.

"Are you sure? I don't want you-"

"I'll stay with him."

Everyone turned to look at Andrew.

"Andrew, you don't have to."

"Shut up," Andrew laughed at him.

"Fine," Ryland said, "Morgan?" 

"Let's go." She replied.

"Goodnight guys." 

"Goodnight, Shane."

The others moved, leaving Garrett and Andrew alone in the hallway.

"Do you really want to stay here? You're not scared?"

Andrew didn't want to tell Garrett he thought that the hotel organized most of the scary events, as in every other place they had stayed at before, the light in his eyes was too bright to ruin the moment.

"Well, you told me everything will be alright."

"Yeah, I did."

Andrew was about to open the door when Garrett stopped him.

"Wait." He put a hand on his arm. "I want to show you something."

Andrew's curiosity made him nod his head without thinking twice about it.  
He asked no questions when Garrett took his hand.  
He was tired, sleepy, and a bit shaken up by the whole situation, but he just couldn't have said no to Garrett.

"Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see."

Andrew gasped when he saw the hotel's courtyard. It looked magical. Lights were hanging down in between trees and a beautiful fountain animated with sound the silent night.

Andrew looked up and saw stars for the first time in forever.  
"This is beautiful." 

"Told you."

Garrett made his way to sit by a table with some chairs, and Andrew followed.

"Do you think Shane will be alright?" Garrett asked.

"I think so," Andrew reassured him.

"Do you believe this place is haunted, Andrew?"

"Not really, do you?"

"Yeah. I mean, look at this! Can't really blame spirits for hanging around. Wouldn't you haunt this place?"

Andrew laughed. "Sorry, you caught me unprepared, I haven't thought about myself as a ghost."

"Then I'll let you time to think it through." Garrett chuckled.

"Have you? I mean, thought about yourself as a ghost?"

"Oh yeah, I think it'll be cool. When that eventually happens, can I come and haunt your house?"

Andrew's breath stopped, he knew he meant it as a joke, but the mere thought of Garrett dying left him frozen in fear.

One day, though, it was bound to happen. One of them had to die first.

Would he still know Garrett when that happened? That was certain in Andrew's mind. He'd never let their friendship end, no matter what. He had promised himself.

So, would Garrett die first because he was a few years older? Or would mother nature be kind enough to let it be Andrew?

Andrew looked at the man sitting across him. Could he really live in a world without Garrett Watts? 

_No._

And could have Garrett possibly gone on with his life without him? 

If you had asked Andrew a week before, he'd have replied with a secure, certain _'yes'_.  
But at that moment, the sound of Garrett's confession still resounded in his mind, it still vibrated in his heart.

_I love you._

In an ideal world, maybe fate would take their lives at the same time, so neither of them had to suffer through the worst of tortures: losing someone you love.

Andrew came back to his senses and stopped his dystopic and utopic thoughts as soon as he asked himself.  
_Why am I thinking about Romeo and Juliet?_  
And why the hell had he started thinking about death in the first place when he could have been listening to Garrett's ridiculous puns and interesting facts?

"Andrew, are you okay?"

Andrew saw Garrett's worried eyes and smiled. He'd think about death another time, at that moment, he realized, he just wanted to live the present with him, and he wasn't going to waste any more time thinking about _'what if's._  
"Yeah, sorry, I guess I am just tired."

Garrett smiled at Andrew, got up, and offered his hand. "Let's get you to bed then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know there's a sort of code among writers not to do this, but again i've not taken any english grammar lesson in 4 years and my current english literature teacher can't even say 'necessary' properly, so don't expect me to be great at descriptions! (i am so self-conscious about this haha) 
> 
> \- room: https://www.alabamahauntedhouses.com/real-haunt-photo/malaga-inn_1923.jpg  
> \- courtyard: https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/03/01/ec/ae/malaga-inn.jpg
> 
> ps this place is beautiful i'd live there


	18. Games and Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie, it's been a tough day for me guys
> 
> anyway, enough about me
> 
> i want to dedicate this chapter to everyone who has left any sort of feedback on this fic, you guys are making everything easier for me :)
> 
> thank you and as always enjoy!

Andrew followed Garrett as he opened the door to the room they were staying in. He heard Garrett say something which he didn't properly catch, instead, he sat on the bed and looked down at his hands.

"Andrew? What's wrong?"

"It's just that- I was thinking."

Garrett was taking his jacket off as he listened to Andrew.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier about being a ghost."

Garrett heard sadness in his voice. His heart stung. What was happening to his love?  
"Andrew? You know I was joking, right?" He stood in front of him, looking down at his head.

"I know, but still." Andrew looked up. "I don't want to be without you, friends or not friends." He reached with both hands for the man, who was standing in front of him, he grabbed his shirt, forced him closer, and rested his forehead on Garrett's tummy.

Garrett put his hands on Andrew's cheeks, making him look up, and smiled sweetly at the redhead.

"I am not going anywhere. Not without you. You'll be stuck with me forever."

Andrew's breath stopped, he closed his eyes, _forever_ was the exact word he wanted to hear.  
_Forever._

Andrew felt Garrett move away and opened his eyes, alarmed.  
He smiled when he saw Garrett taking his shoes off and jumping softly on the bed.

"Before we have a good therapy session with our new ghostly friends," Garrett started saying, laying on his side, keeping his head up with his hand, his elbow softly sinking into the mattress. "I have a question."

"A question?" 

"What do you want me to be, Andrew? What do you want me to be for you? I'll listen. I'm here. I'll do whatever I can to try and make you happy."

Andrew sighed. He laid next to him and started to softly play with Garrett's fingers, gently brushing his hand with his.

"Garrett Watts, I want you to be yourself. That's all I am sure of, for now, at least," Andrew said, squeezing his hand.

Garrett laughed, "You gotta be a little more specific, Andrew Siwicki. I need to know some things."

"What do you want to know?" Andrew laughed.

"What can I do that won't make you uncomfortable? What will make you happy?"

"How about this: you can ask me every time, and I'll tell you in the moment if it's okay."

"Kinda like a game?"

"Kinda like a game." Andrew smiled.

"Ok, then. Since I have to ask you, I'll do it formally." Garrett sat up and cleared his voice. "Andrew Siwicki, can I kiss you right now?"

Andrew smiled and sat up as well, reaching to meet Garrett's eyes, keeping himself up with his arms.  
"You can kiss me anytime, Garrett Watts." 

Garrett didn't need to hear anything else, he cupped Andrew's cheeks with his two hands and kissed him.

Andrew crumbled under Garrett's touch. His arms suddenly felt weak, to the point he had to physically lean towards the man in front of him.

The kiss was different than the last time, Garrett still smelled like vanilla and tasted like honey to Andrew, but the absence of alcohol made it sweeter, both literally and figuratively.

The kiss was even better than the last one, no second thoughts were stopping them from putting their heart in each other's hands, along with their bodies.

Garrett thrived off of Andrew's consent, this time truly complete, because it was a sober decision, for both of them, no alcohol or drug to cloud their judgment.

And nothing was hotter, in Garrett's opinion, than Andrew trusting him and actually wanting him.  
Garrett had craved Andrew's touch just as much as he had craved the feeling of being wanted, needed, by the same redhead he was kissing.

He was gently holding Andrew down, one hand locked with his, fingers sweetly interlacing with each other, the other he was using to keep himself up.

He placed soft kisses on Andrew's open lips.  
Sometimes he stopped to look at Andrew's eyes, which fluttered opened every time, at first, out of fear that Garrett had changed his mind, then out of understanding, because if Garrett wanted to see Andrew's eyes, he'd open them for him. 

This time, there was no desperation, no need to rush, Garrett knew that if he stopped kissing Andrew, he could just start again. He knew Andrew wouldn't regret it, he knew that at that moment, they had all the time in the world.

It was unusual for Garrett to be so tender and gentle, he liked to take things slow in bed, he truly did, but it just was a rare occasion, an occasion he reserved only for the people he cared about.  
There had been only a couple of dates that he had honestly, truly cared about, but then again, nothing compared to what he was feeling at that moment.

After all, no one deserved his care and attention like the man underneath him. No one else deserved Garrett's love other than Andrew.

Andrew's mind, on the other hand, was blank. It had stopped working at the exact moment Garrett's lips had crashed on his.  
Andrew's brain was far more focused on feeling rather than thinking.  
And with Garrett on top of him, there was _a lot_ to feel.

Garrett was going to take his time with him, Andrew frustratingly realized.  
He felt vulnerable. Garrett could have done whatever he wanted to him, and he wouldn't have objected. He didn't have the power to.  
And yes, he trusted Garrett with his life, but it did feel slightly embarrassing to him, the fact that he had absolutely no will power whenever Garrett touched him.

It wasn't embarrassing as in humiliating, because he knew really well that Garrett was good at what he did, it was more disappointment toward himself.

He didn't feel very manly if that made sense. He didn't really care usually, but nothing going on at that moment was usual. After all, he had never expected to have his best friend make out with him. 

_What a wonderful surprise,_ he thought. A surprise that was turning into a very sexually frustrating experience really quickly.

Andrew put a hand on Garrett's chest as to stop him and asked before he could misunderstand the gesture, "Why are you going so easy on me?"

"Because last time you freaked out about it," Garrett said as if it was the most obvious of answers.

Andrew cringed remembering how much he had overreacted at the sight of the hickeys the first time.  
"I won't, I promise." 

Garrett laughed, "Did you forget we have to film tomorrow?"

"I don't care. _Please_." He breathed out.

"Fine, take your hoodie off." 

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

Andrew didn't reply, he just sat up and raised his arms, letting Garrett take it off. Andrew was kind of confused, after all, he still had a t-shirt on, and Garrett didn't take that off along with his hoodie, what were his intentions?

"Lay down." Garrett's voice came out as demanding and very _very_ hot.

Andrew gulped. He did as he was told. He had to be compliant. He had asked for it, after all.

"Tell me if it's too much." Garrett sounded way sweeter at that.

Andrew could only nod before he felt Garrett starting to kiss his neck.  
He let out a shaky breath he had been holding for far too long.

Garrett could tell what kind of effect everything was having on Andrew.  
At first, it had been fun to mess with him and take it slow, he knew it was frustrating Andrew, and it was quite pleasant to watch. But if his love truly wanted him to go harder on him, well, Garrett couldn't have possibly resisted at such request for too long.

He kissed Andrew's neck, at first slowly, just under his jawline, then picking up the speed as he went down.  
He reached Andrew's collarbone and started softly biting his skin. He heard him whine and saw him close his eyes.  
That had to be his weak spot, he decided, not being able to keep a laugh from coming out.

Andrew opened his eyes. _Oh, are you laughing now? I'll show you._  
He waited for Garrett to leave a last kiss on his neck before stopping him, "Garrett."

The other stopped immediately, terrified he had done something wrong.  
He saw the redhead sit up. "What's wrong?" He concernedly asked.

Andrew's voice had been stern, serious. Or so Garrett had been tricked to think.  
He saw Andrew smirk to himself, so he opened his mouth to ask what was going on with him.

Only, Andrew didn't let him speak, instead, he grabbed Garrett's shoulders and pushed him down on the bed next to him.  
He sat astride Garrett, leaned down and whispered to his face, "Don't you ever laugh at me again."

Garrett grinned, "Getting confident, Siwicki?"

"Shut up," Andrew laughed before leaning in to kiss Garrett.

It did take two to tango, he thought.

It was weirdly pleasant for Garrett to have Andrew on top of him, definitely new.  
And even if it didn't feel as good as having control over him, he had to admit, Andrew seemed to know what he was doing.

Garrett had lost count of the times his lips had met Andrew's and of the times he had heard a moan or a sigh leave his mouth.  
He- they had to stop, because it was getting _painfully hard_ to continue.

"Andrew," was what he only needed to say.

"You okay?" 

"Yeah, it's just, I need to go... You know."

Andrew smirked and just stared at Garrett.

"Andrew."

"Yes?" 

"You need to move."

"Nuh huh."

"Andrew, get up, I'm serious."

Andrew didn't move, he just laughed and instead wrapped his arms around Garrett's torso and laid his head on his chest.

"But I am so comfy."

"Andrew," Garrett laughed.

"What's wrong, Garrett?" Andrew jokingly asked.  
Actually, he knew damn well what was wrong with Garrett, he could _feel_ it, and honestly, he would have had the same problem if not for the fact that Andrew was wearing sweatpants, his soft and comfortable and amazing Adidas sweatpants, which were saving him from a lot of pain.

He felt bad for Garrett, but not bad enough to let him go.

"Is this revenge?"

"Yes."

"What for?"

"I don't know, maybe the fact you laughed at me," Andrew sarcastically replied.

"I didn't laugh at you!" 

"You totally did. Not cool, bro."

"So you're bro-ing me now, I see, I see." Garrett laughed.

"No, but seriously, don't laugh at me, I feel bad enough."

"Jesus, it was that bad?"

"That's not what I meant! It's just that..." There they were, the red cheeks Garrett loved so much.

"Andrew?"

"It's literally the opposite. It's that good, I can't help but feel self-conscious about myself."

"No, Andrew! Don't say that! I don't laugh at you, I laugh at the situation. I'm sorry. It just seems so funny that I get to make you feel this way. Also, I literally always laugh."

"Yeah, you do." Andrew smiled.

"And, frankly, we wouldn't be having this conversation if you weren't good at this."

Andrew laughed, "That's fair."

"Now that I apologized, can you let me go."

"No, there's still something else you need to pay for."

"Andrew, you're cruel!"

"Mr Waiter wouldn't have, would he?"

Garrett laughed. "I see how it is."

"You're laughing again."

"I'm sorry," Garrett chuckled, "Can't help it. Who would have known you'd be the jealous type."

"Don't laugh," Andrew warned him.

"I am not laughing," Garrett replied, holding the laughter in between his pressed lips.

"I feel you laughing, Garrett. I am literally on top of you."

"Yeah, that's not going to last."

"I am offended," Andrew dramatically gasped and jokingly slapped Garrett's chest.

"No, you're not."

"No, I am not," Andrew confessed with a laugh.  
"Do you still need me to move."

"Nah, it's okay," Garrett chuckled, "Do you plan on sleeping like this, or...?"

"I mean... If I can't be on top when we make out, at least I should be able to sleep on top of you."

Garrett laughed, "I guess that's fair."

"Goodnight, Garrett."

"Goodnight, love."


	19. Types and Points

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise? 
> 
> this chapter wasn't planned, it wasn't even supposed to exist, it just sort of happened.
> 
> don't ask what's the point, because there's none. it's just domestic fluff with a twist. and _maybe_ a subplot starter but who knows. ;)
> 
> enjoy!!

Andrew woke up to his phone ringing. It was Shane.  
It took him a few moments to realize where he was.  
One of his legs was still on top of Garrett, along with one arm he had tightly wrapped around his waist.

The last thing he remembered was being completely on him, his ear pressed on his chest, carefully listening and sweetly falling asleep to Garrett's heartbeat.

Andrew saw him stir and open his eyes.

"Goodmorning."

"Hmm."  
Andrew knew Garrett never talked in the morning, he'd have to piece the puzzle together and interpret what he was mumbling or grunting, as always.

"Shane called, we need to go."

Another groan.

"I know you hate this, but come on, you need to get up."

"You're still blocking the way," Garrett finally found the strength to say. And Andrew had to add 'morning voice' to the list of masculine things he never thought he'd lust over.

"Sorry," Andrew apologized before leaving a kiss on Garrett's shoulder and getting out of bed.

"Why did you move, now I have to get up."

Andrew laughed. "Come on, baby."  
Andrew stopped in his tracks, clearly embarrassed.  
_Where did that come from?_  
He had called Garrett different variations of the word 'baby' throughout the years, but somehow, now that it wasn't supposed to be a joke, it felt wrong.

 _Baby, huh? Andrew, dear, you still have a lot to learn._ Garrett thought as he smirked to himself, finally getting up.

He followed Andrew in the bathroom, who was washing his teeth.  
He wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on Andrew's shoulder. 

Andrew saw Garrett through the reflection and smiled, leaning back on him.

He eventually let go to start brushing his teeth as well and to wash his face, before putting his glasses back on.  
Garrett moved back to the room to change when he heard Andrew say, 

"I never thought I'd ever make out in a haunted room with someone."

Garrett chuckled.

"Would you have ever thought?"

"Well... technically."

Andrew left the bathroom to go talk face-to-face with Garrett, very curious and also slightly surprised.  
"What? Who? Where?" He asked.

He knew about all of Garrett's dates, he was sure, and he had never heard him mention anything like that. He'd usually find out about the dates whenever he had to comfort a broken-hearted Garrett for the night. (Literally only for the night, because that seemed to be the time it took him to get over his potential boyfriends.)

_Will he forget about me that easily, too?_

"Shane's old house was haunted, remember."

"Right," Andrew whispered.

"Andrew?" Garrett concernedly stepped closer to him.

"Sorry," he laughed nervously, "I just forget you and Shane actually, yeah."

"It was just a kiss. Don't worry about it. I always forget about it myself."

 _Yeah, just a kiss._  
Andrew had definitely not gotten that same impression from Shane.  
_I still remember them very well. That boy has a gift._

"Wait." Andrew heard himself say out loud. "Oh my God."

"What?"

"Shane has kissed you," Andrew stated, his gaze hazy.

"Yeah?"

"Shane has also kissed Gabbie." Andrew looked at Garrett with wide eyes. 

Garrett started laughing uncontrollably, followed by Andrew as well.  
"That's so funny."

"Is it?" Andrew chuckled. "Wow, I can't believe my own boss and I have shared not one, but two people."

"Shared, Andrew?"

"You know what I mean."

Garrett laughed. "That's crazy. Do all redhead's think the same?"

"Shut up." Andrew laughed.

"You two share the same brain cells. Along with the same taste, which I have to say, is excellent."

Andrew laughed, "Oh you wanna do that? Then let's talk about _your_ type."

"What are you talking about? I don't have a type."

"Yeah, you do. Redheads." Andrew grinned.

"That's not true!" Garrett stammered.

"Are you denying you have a thing for redheads?" Andrew stepped closer and smirked at Garrett.

"I don't have a thing for redheads, I have a thing for _a_ redhead." He stepped closer and grabbed Andrew's waist.  
"Who is currently looking very attractive and very tempting."

"Mhh. You're very clever but also a boot-licker."

"Oh, but you like that." Garrett laughed, leaning in for a kiss.

"Yeah, I do." Andrew smirked as he closed his eyes, waiting for Garrett's lips to meet his.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned when their first daily kiss was interrupted by a loud banging of the door.

"You guys ready, yet?" They heard Shane ask.

"Oops, I forgot the others existed for a second." Garrett chuckled and pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh too loudly.

"Same," Andrew laughed, "I forgot why we were here in the first place."

"I guess duty calls," Garrett said. He quickly kissed Andrew before taking his jacket and opening the door.

Andrew remained with his back to the door, smiling like an idiot and biting his lip, trying to control his breathing and praying he didn't have too much of a blush on his cheeks.

"Andrew?" He heard Shane call out.

He took his own things and left as well, letting Shane close the door.

"So, saw any ghosts last night?"

"What? Oh, right. No, not really."  
He saw Shane look for something on his neck and smirk.

"At least this time he didn't butcher your neck."

Andrew was sure he had turned a bright shade of red.  
"I-I don't-" he started stuttering.

Shane laughed, "I am just messing with you, don't worry. But, if you need to talk, about anything, I am here."

"Thanks, Shane, I appreciate it."

They all went outside to get some coffee when Shane started explaining what he wanted to do for the day.  
He had finally found a farm that would let him meet a pig.

"Do we get to eat it after?"

Ryland gasped, "Garrett!"

"I am sorry, I get weird when I'm hungry."

"Only when you're hungry?" Morgan joked.

"Yeah, but I am always hungry." Garrett joked, making everyone laugh.

Everyone but the cameraman, who had been distracted by his own thoughts for a moment.  
Andrew tried his best to focus on the job he was supposed to do, but something felt off. Something was bugging him, but he couldn't figure out what it was. 

That was until he saw Garrett's excited face. 

"We're going to hang out with goats? Cool!" His eyes lit up and Andrew found it hard not to drop everything to kiss that smile.

It was all still so confusing to him.  
Liking a man. Liking his best friend. Liking Garrett.  
It was confusing and scary at the same time. What had happened between them was way beyond what neither of them could have ever expected. 

The one they were experiencing was a point of no return, he realized.

Even though he had tried to think positively and had tried to create a utopian world where all choices were good choices, deep down he knew that with Garrett it was either going to work or not. It was either going to be the happy ending he had forever looked for, or it was going to end in a disaster.

And Andrew surely hoped for the first one. 

_So much for 'no pressure', huh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this was short, but it didn't really fit in well with what i have planned next, hope you don't mind!


	20. Planes and Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone has had a good day!  
> i am still sick so that's fun, hope you guys are staying safe and at home 
> 
> i took a small angsty-ish tangent at the end there, definitely not as mean as i could have gotten, but my heart can't take sadness right now
> 
> also thanks to cherryblossomwatts i can't think about gandrew and planes without wanting to rip my heart in half  
> (the fact that i am forced to take xanax every time i get on airplanes because of my crippling fear of flying that causes me multiple panic attacks doesn't help either haha)
> 
> anyway, enough rambling
> 
> enjoy! :)

Morgan and Garrett were bouncing all over the place.  
They were just about to start filming Shane reuniting with his long lost family, as he wanted to call the video, and those two were running around, well, more like walking around, looking at the animals and relating to every one of them.

"Garrett, that's me!" Morgan yelled pointing at a cow.

"Morgan!" He laughed out loud. "Don't say that! She might be sensitive!" Garrett said.

Morgan stopped walking because of how much she was laughing, and she put her hands on her knees, trying to breathe, and especially trying not to fall, which was her most renowned characteristic.

"That's mean!" She jokingly replied, wiping the tears away from her delighted eyes, "Very funny but mean, indeed."

Andrew laughed with them and took his phone out to record Garrett running around, trying to pet a goat that was desperately trying to escape.

Morgan joined Andrew in capturing the hilarious sight of a 6'3'' man running after a terrified animal.  
Garrett eventually gave up on that one goat when he saw another one approach him.

"Hello, do you want to be my friend?" Garrett asked the goat with a huge smile. The animal stepped closer and he added, excited, "Oh, that's a yes. Someone, snap us!"

Morgan and Andrew both did as they were told, and the first added, "I think it wants to eat you."

"Morgan!" Garrett giggled.

Andrew got a picture with the animals as well before having to leave Garrett and Morgan to go film Shane and Ryland with the pigs.

He was trying his best to record everything that was happening in front of him, even though his mind was still with the two grown-ass babies, whose laughs were addictive.

On the one hand, he knew he had to follow Shane everywhere, he was his boss after all, but on the other, he just wished he could just spend the day filming Garrett and Morgan and whatever animal they were trying to pet.

Andrew smiled and focused back on Shane talking to the camera.

xxx 

"So, Romeo, how did it go last night?"

"What exactly are you asking, Morgan?"

"Stop playing dumb, Garrett. Are you two together?"

"No," Garrett simply replied.

"No?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at him.

"Did a ghost hit you in the head last night?"

Morgan laughed, "You told me you confessed."

"Yes."

"What about him? I assume by the lovesick look you two both have, that he reciprocates your feelings, right?" Morgan laughed. "Or you could have drugged him, who knows?"

"Very funny, Morgan." Garrett rolled his eyes though smiling at her.

"I am so happy for you guys, it was bound to happen."

"Morgan, we're not together," Garrett said, this time insisting a bit more.

"You're not?"

"No, he- we're still figuring it out."

"I better be the first one to know, when you end up together."

Garrett laughed, "If, Morgan, if."

" _When_ you two get together, if you don't tell me, I will block you, and, this time, I am serious." She pointed her finger at him, in a jokingly threatening way

"Fine, fine, I'll tell you." He raised his hands in defence.

Morgan was about to ask something else when she saw her brother, Shane and Andrew approach them.

"So, how did it go?" Garrett asked, his smile quickly turning into a frown when he saw Shane with tears in his eyes.

"Not a good time, Garrett," Ryland said, patting his boyfriend's back.

"What happened?" Morgan asked.

"They were so cute! I am going to go vegan, I've decided." Shane said, pouting.

"A changed man," Morgan laughed.

"He's not going to last 3 days," Garrett joked, and Andrew cackled from behind the camera.

As the sun went down, everyone headed to the airport.  
The ride was oddly quiet: Morgan was scrolling through her phone mindlessly; Shane was resting his head on Ryland's shoulder; while Garrett had started a conversation with the driver, on what exactly, Andrew wasn't sure.

Andrew looked at his phone, reading the messages that his _fans_ had sent as answers to his story of Garrett. 

_Cutie._  
_just marry him already what are you waiting for, andrew?_

Andrew chuckled.  
_If they only knew._  
He felt oddly mischievous, almost as he had a big secret he could share and potentially change everything.  
And frankly, he did.

Andrew's anxiety rose once again as everyone went through security and were approaching the plane.

He felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. He turned around and met Garrett's smiling eyes with a timid smile.

"You'll be fine."

Andrew tried again, this time, less modest and shy.

He released a breath he had been holding for a while when he found out what seats they were assigned.  
Not only he was sitting next to Garrett, but the two of them were also sitting in the row behind the others.  
It was a blessing, an answer to his prayers.  
He'd finally be able to hold his hand, and everything would be alright.

And Andrew had every right to be positive.

All of the others (surprisingly including Shane) were sound asleep as soon as the plane had taken off, leaving Garrett and Andrew far away from curious glances.

Garrett knew Andrew was too anxious to sleep. He could clearly see the sheer terror in his soft features.  
And his solution was, of course, to entertain his love with silly conversations. 

Andrew saw Garrett's kind eyes, and everything suddenly felt better.  
He almost forgot the terrifying scenarios imagined by his fear of flying in between the cackles and the smiles.  
Garrett's discourses on random things were the most prized gift he could have asked for.

His "Ok, but did I tell you about this one time..." were accompanied by tender scratching on the back of his hand, and, anytime turbulence would break the magic of the moment by scaring the redhead to death, a soft kiss was placed on his knuckles.

Andrew's heart skipped a few beats, as it was accustomed to lately, both because of his fear of flying and (or rather mostly) because of the small gestures Garrett reserved for him, in between the small talk topics and the in-depth conversations.

He was grateful. Grateful for the help he was getting even without needing to ask. Grateful for the love he was reserved. But, most of all, grateful for the love he was feeling.

Andrew realized that somewhere, in the middle of years of friendship, he had developed feelings for his best friend.  
He felt it at that moment, but he knew it wasn't fresh, it couldn't have been. The feelings were too intense and sincere to be new.

He recalled the hunt for the comments mentioning him and Garrett, and even though it had only been a week prior, Andrew felt like months had passed.

Somehow discovering his true feelings towards his friend had changed him, and Andrew hoped for the best.

There were still a lot of questions Andrew needed to know the answer of. One of them had been particularly bugging him.

 _"I refuse to believe that for years I have been hurting about this when it was all... pointless."_  
Had Garrett really been hurting for years?  
Could Andrew have possibly gotten over the guilt he was carrying since the moment he had heard those words?  
He also had another question, one quite painful to think of, and, if Andrew had to be honest, the scariest of them all.

_How much does he actually love me?_

Andrew was scared of the answer.  
He was scared because as much as he wanted to be insecure about it, he couldn't: Garrett had been clear and honest, with his words but, most of all, with his eyes.  
Could Andrew reciprocate the amount of affection he felt? Or would he make Garrett feel not good enough for him? Was it even fair for him to be scared of how much someone loved him?  
It definitely didn't feel fair.

Andrew just hoped he could make Garrett as genuinely happy as he made him feel.  
He just wished to match his feelings, even though the idea of loving someone so intensely terrified him.

Andrew's thoughts were interrupted again, this time by a hand, finally interlacing its fingers with his, a hand he had been expecting for a while, a simple gesture that had been delayed for whatever reason Andrew wasn't sure of.

Could his hesitation and uncertainty have been transmitted to Garrett?  
He turned his head to find a beautiful gift waiting for him, a smile so radiant, Andrew's insecurities were swept away.

He didn't find any appropriate words to say in the moment, he tried and failed. Instead, Andrew decided to keep quiet and show his gratitude differently.  
He smiled back at Garrett, put his head on his shoulders, and closed his eyes. 

He felt a small kiss on the top of his head, and Andrew believed he had been brought back to Garrett's place, the night he had kissed him for the first time.  
Suddenly, Andrew wasn't in an airplane anymore, he was in Garrett's bed. He wasn't worried about anything, not bothered by his anxiety, he was cuddling with Garrett, protected by his warm and strong arms.  
Because of a simple kiss, he felt safe and cared for.

In other words, he felt at home.


	21. Questions and Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was fun to write pals, hope it is to read as well!
> 
> also, expect the rating of this fic to change anytime soon now, i promised myself i wouldn't, but it's bound to happen at this point
> 
> enjoy :)

Andrew had 24 hours to make the most of Garrett before he had to leave for an insane editing week at Shane's.  
He dreaded staying away from him for so long. Andrew had now grown accustomed to having Garrett around all the time, to the point where even 24 hours didn't seem enough in a day.

Andrew knew very well that he was stuck in the honeymoon phase, that it was ridiculous he had to be close to Garrett all the time for him to feel something at all. The amount of physical contact he needed from his best friend (he still didn't dare to call him anything else) was absurd.

"Don't worry about it. I'll still be here." 

Andrew knew he would, but it was still frustrating.  
After all, the honeymoon phase was due to end one day, and Andrew dreaded that moment with all of the doubt it carried.

Would he get tired of Garrett, or worse, would Garrett get tired of him? Would it last between them? It had to, right? After all, they were still the same, and if years of solid friendship had resisted through trials and tribulations, why wouldn't their, whatever it was, last as well?

"I guess you're right. It's just that- I'll miss you."

"But you can't miss me!" Andrew raised an eyebrow at him. "I'll be there with you in spirit."

Andrew laughed and sighed, "Will your spirit be able to kiss me?"

"I don't think it has the appropriate technology, yet."

"Then it's not good enough."  
The two of them had just arrived home, and Garrett was just opening the door when Andrew spoke.

Garrett grinned, and, as he closed the door behind him, he asked, "Will I be able to kiss you, right now?"

Andrew smirked at him, and stepped closer, blocking Garrett at the door, "I thought I already answered that question once and for all."  
He stopped Garrett as he was leaning in, "But, tonight, you can ask me _whatever_ you want."

"Andrew," Garrett breathed out. "You know I won't do that."

"Garrett."

"No. Listen to me. You're not ready. I can tell."

"I-I am."

"You stuttered."

"But-"

"I won't leave, Andrew. While you're at Shane's, I'll be here, waiting for you. When you get back, perhaps we can talk about it. Okay?"

"Okay," Andrew sheepishly replied. "Can you still kiss me, though?"

Garrett smirked before grabbing Andrew's waist. "Of course, whatever you want, love."

And whatever he wanted it was.  
Garrett kissed Andrew, and finally, he felt safe.  
Garrett had shown him once again that Andrew could trust him blindly, that Garrett would always protect him, that he'd always put him first.

The kiss was the sweetest Andrew had ever received.

Andrew sat on Garrett's lap with his legs around his torso.  
He recalled the times he had been in the same position, but, unlike Garrett, not with his bi-curious best friend, instead, with a girl.

It felt strange sitting on someone's lap, but oddly satisfying. It was unfamiliar but pleasant.  
And Andrew could finally savor a bit of dominance for himself. He had soon realized that in his newly-founded sexual rendezvous with Garrett he wouldn't get to experience that often.  
Not that he minded though. 

He also, somehow, convinced Garrett to go to bed earlier. They kissed and cuddled and talked, and Andrew felt like nothing had changed between them. But then Garrett would smile at him, and Andrew felt like _everything_ had changed, he definitely had.

They spent the following day mostly in bed.  
It was Garrett's idea, and Andrew didn't resist at all, on the contrary, he accepted the offer enthusiastically.

"Can I cook for you?"

"You cook now?"

"Yes! I can only make pasta for now though, so don't get greedy!" Garrett laughed.

"Are you sure you are not trying to secretly poison me?"

"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it, Andrew?"

In between giggles, they managed to eat a decent lunch, which Andrew was positively surprised about.

They did normal things, usual activities they were custom to, only this time long passionate kisses were scattered in between the 'that's you's and shared memes, between the ironic dances and the distorted singing, between the music and the laughter.

It felt natural.

In the evening Andrew had to leave.

"I don't want to!"

"Don't you love your job?"

"I love a lot of things, but that doesn't mean I'd rather do those instead of staying with you."

"It's just a week, you'll be fine."

"Can't Shane move closer, so I don't have to stay there?"

Garrett laughed and placed a kiss on the top of Andrew's head.

"I hate you. It's your fault I have this job anyway."

Garrett laughed again, "You're... welcome?"

"Will you be fine sleeping alone tonight?"

"Stop worrying about me! Do you want me to drive you there?"

"No, I don't want you driving by yourself so late. It's too long of a drive. I also believe the Uber Shane called will be here in a matter of minutes."

"Fine, but text me as soon as you get there."

It was finally time for Andrew to leave.  
"Garrett."

"Yes?"

"I-" Andrew hugged him one last time, "I am grateful for you."

Garrett smiled at him, and Andrew's heart melted.

"Have fun editing! Love you."

_Love you, too_ Andrew wanted to say, but somehow it felt wrong in the moment, so, instead, he just waved and smiled.

It was starting to be an intense week, just as the redhead had predicted.  
Shane and Andrew had hours upon hours of footage to edit, of both the trip and another project Shane had been organizing for a while.

Andrew frustratingly asked himself why his boss couldn't just separate the editing in two parts and leave him at least a day-break in the middle of it all.

But on the other hand, Andrew had grown accustomed to Shane's ways, if he was in his creative mindset, no one could stop him.

Shane worked in sparse but intense and productive flows, and Andrew had to admit that it somehow worked. He had never had any problems with it, and he knew it was his separation with Garrett that was complaining, not his rational brain.

Andrew couldn't stop a frustrated sigh from leaving his mouth, somewhere between the second and third day of editing (he wasn't really sure).

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Are you tired? Do you want to take a break?"

Andrew wanted to say no, he wanted to finish his work as soon as possible and get back to his lovable giant, who was waiting for him in a tiny house.  
But his eyes were burning, and no amount of missing would get Andrew to do a bad editing job. Garrett was right, he did love his job after all.

"If you don't mind."

"Something has been troubling you, and something else tells me it has nothing to do with the clip you've been staring at for the past ten minutes."

Andrew chuckled nervously, "Sorry. It's just that-"

"You miss him."

"Yes," Andrew replied, trying not to make it too obvious he'd have rather replied with a 'duh'.

"But?"

"It's not that, what's troubling me."

"What is it then?"

"It's just that-" Andrew was sure he had turned a bright shade of red.

"Ah, I see." Shane laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" He nervously chuckled.

"I would have never thought Garrett and you-"

"Oh my God."

"What? I didn't take you to the hotel to-"

"Shane!" He yelled, masking his reddened face with his hands, making Shane cackle. "It's not what you think."

"You've not... well, I figured. Garrett's too much of a gentleman."

"Yeah, he is."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I am scared and very unprepared."

"Unprepared," he echoed, laughing.

"Yeah, like, how do you- you know."

"How do you have sex? Andrew, do you need to tell me something?"

"No-" he laughed, stammering his words, "I meant- You know what? Forget I asked."

"I am just messing with you, come on, ask whatever you want. I've been there, and I know it's embarrassing, trust me."

"How do I- fuck this is hard."

"What, you mean give a blowjob?"

Andrew was mumbling words of discomfort when Shane added, "We're all adults here, you can say it."

"Fine," he sighed, "How do I suck a dick?"

Shane laughed at the sudden bluntness. "Well, you must have gotten at least one in your life right?"

Andrew squinted his eyes and moved his head to the side, "Yeah, and?"

"Then just give what you liked receiving."

"Very wise, thank you, Shane." Andrew rolled his eyes at the unhelpful advice.

"I am not kidding."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it."

"Andrew, are you sure about this?" Shane turned serious.

"Listen, if I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have started this conversation."

"That's fair," Shane said laughing. He went for a sip of his diet root beer, which he almost choked on when Andrew asked,

"Does it hurt that much?"

Shane thought he was about to choke to death.

"Are you okay?" Andrew cackled.

"I don't think I am the right person to ask that question to." Shane laughed.

"Oh," Andrew laughed slightly embarrassed.

"I guess it depends."

"It depends on what?"

"It depends on how-" Shane couldn't look at Andrew without laughing, and the other raised his eyebrow at him.

"Don't make me say it."

"What? Why?"

"I'd rather not think about my best friend's-"

And suddenly Andrew understood why Shane was acting so flustered all of the sudden.  
"Oh my God, please don't, Shane!"

The two of them laughed but soon stopped when they saw Ryland enter the room.

"What are you two talking about? Seemed interesting."

Andrew looked at Ryland and caught something unfamiliar in his eyes.

_Is he jealous?_

Andrew was so sure he wasn't, but what if he had been wrong?  
He looked at Shane, who looked back at him understandingly.

But before any of them could open their mouths to explain, Ryland interrupted them, "I was just messing with you, don't worry!" 

Andrew almost sighed in relief when Ryland left.  
_Ok, maybe he isn't jealous._

"Close call," Shane joked, and Andrew could only laugh.

"So, Andrew..."

"Yes?"

"You're actually the only one who would know if it'll hurt."

Andrew reddened again, "Oh my God, stop it!" He yelled in embarrassment.  
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Shane laughed at first, but then turned serious again, "Ok, but, joking aside, if you really want to, then just trust him. I think he knows what he's doing."

Andrew looked at his hands, "I trust him."

"You should be fine then. Besides, if he's as good as he is with-"

"Shane!" Andrew screamed, laughing.

"Fine, fine, let's get back to work."

Andrew chuckled to himself, about to put in his headphones again.

"Will you tell me though if he is? I am very curious about-" Shane's question was interrupted by a pillow to his face.

"Ok, I get it. I'll let you edit." 

"I am sure it won't hurt as much as having this conversation." Andrew laughed one more time before getting back to the clip he was working on.


	22. Lust and Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, this was hard. i don't know how i feel about this chapter. it took me 4 days and a lot of giggling, but at least it's here.  
> i hope it's not too much of a disappointment.
> 
> if you don't feel comfortable reading smut, i am sorry, skip this one  
> just know that i was equally as uncomfortable when i was writing it, lmao
> 
> lastly, garrett and andrew, if you two ever come across this, for whatever reason, i'm _really_ sorry  
> forgive me fathers, for i have sinned.

Needless to say, Andrew suffered through the editing week, and he couldn't wait to get home, or rather, to Garrett's house, which, he had to admit, felt like home.  
He was finally going to see him again, and Andrew couldn't wait.

Anxiety and excitement were taking over. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins, buzzing in his fingers as he brushed them through his wet hair.

He chuckled thinking about how Garrett would scold him for going outside with wet hair, rambling about how he was going to catch a cold.  
He took his phone out, staring at it, he wondered if he should have told Garrett he was coming over.  
He wanted to surprise him, but would it be too much? Was he invading his privacy?

He shook his head at his own thoughts. Since when did Andrew care about invading Garrett's privacy?  
It was Garrett, for fuck's sake.

Why did it feel different? It shouldn't have. Andrew stopped his thought before they could get out of hand.

He finally knocked on Garrett's door.

"Andrew?"

Garrett saw his love in front of him, messy wet hair, a small smile on his face. He didn't need to hear anything else. He immediately captured him in between his arms. He hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head. He had missed Andrew like oxygen.

"I missed you," Andrew mumbled, his voice muted by Garrett's sleep shirt.

"I missed you so much," Garrett breathed out.

"Kiss me, you idiot."

And Garrett did as he was told.  
He tasted it, the necessity, the urgency in the kiss.  
He was suddenly brought back to the first time they kissed, he could catch the desperation, the strong chemistry binding them closer and closer each second. 

Garrett dared to push Andrew on the bed. He desperately wanted him, but he had promised himself that he would never overstep his boundaries, even if Andrew had asked him to. He wanted Andrew to be sure more than anything else, and right as he was thinking about it, he heard his love's words.

"Ask me. The question back at the hotel."

"Can I kiss you, you mean?"

"No," Andrew breathed out as Garrett was kissing his neck. "The other one."

"I don't remember."

"Yes, you do," Andrew complained, "Don't you dare ruin the vibe."

Garrett chuckled at Andrew's retort. But when he looked at his eyes, he tried his best not to gulp.  
He remembered the question, but he was afraid to ask it. He was afraid of why Andrew wanted him to, and he was afraid of the answer. 

"Garrett?"

He sighed, "What do you want me to be, Andrew Siwicki? What would make you happy?"

Andrew put a hand on Garrett's chest, forcing them to look at each other in the eyes. "Be mine, Garrett Watts. Or rather, let me be yours." 

Garrett understood. It wouldn't have taken a genius to get what Andrew was implying, and frankly, it was the reason he had been scared of the question.  
He was dying to say yes, to treat Andrew the way he wanted, to make him feel as good as he could possibly have. He wanted to taste him and hold him and kiss him till the sun came up.

"Andrew..."

"I won't accept no as an answer if the only reason behind it is you thinking I'm not ready."

Garrett looked in his eyes. He saw determination rising in his pupils. A fire was burning in Andrew's stomach. Garrett had thought it was just lust, but it was so much more.

Garrett sighed again, bit his bottom lip and finally answered, "Andrew, what you can't see is," Garrett breathed in, "I've always been yours, Andrew. You don't get it. How much I want this. How much I love you."

"I get it. I swear. That's why I'm here. I want this, I promise. I wouldn't have talked to Shane about this, I wouldn't have rushed here. I want you. Please."

"You talked to Shane?"

"Yes, and it was painful." Andrew chuckled, and Garrett joined in, laughing.

"Well then, now I'm sure you want this," he joked.

"Garrett, _please_ ," Andrew whispered.

Garrett smiled, "Okay. Andrew, let's try. Let's see if I'm good enough to make you mine."

Andrew smirked, and Garrett leaned in to kiss him again.

"I'll ask you before doing anything, just promise you'll stop me if-"

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and kiss me now."  
Andrew smirked and grabbed Garrett's shirt to pull him down.

He thought he could control the situation for once, but he was soon proven wrong.

Garrett started kissing his neck, resorting to the weak spot he had found the other night.  
He was taking his time, not only because he wanted to give Andrew time to realize if he truly wanted it and the chance to stop him, but also because he enjoyed seeing him suffer. Just a little bit.

Andrew, on the other hand, complained, he hated the teasing, but instead of mercy, he was met with ruthless words. "Shush. Trust the process. We have all the time in the world."

Andrew voiced sounds of frustration. He was going to find a way to make Garrett pay for this, he promised himself.  
But the revenge was going to wait for another day because Andrew had absolutely no power to rebel to the slow torture his soon-to-be lover was provoking.

Andrew shivered at the thought that crossed his mind.  
He was about to let a man touch him. Though it wasn't a man, it was Garrett, who he trusted with his own life. And who he desperately wanted.  
He tried his best to breathe normally, but anxiety was rising in his mind.

"Andrew?"

There it was again, another sign that Garrett was always careful, he was always quick to worry about him. Andrew had absolutely nothing to fret about.

"I'm fine, but you won't be if you keep teasing me."

Garrett laughed. "Whatever you want, love."

Andrew breathed in and started relaxing, even though hearing Garrett call him love did something to him he didn't know was possible.  
He felt Garrett's hand linger under his shirt for a while.  
"Garrett. You remember the game, right? You ask-"

"And you beg."

Andrew's breath stopped, "...and I beg," he whispered.  
_Fuck._

"Can I take this off?"  
Andrew didn't reply, instead, he raised his arms and let him take it off.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

Andrew was about to reply, but his words got stuck in his throat, suffocated by a moan.  
He whimpered when he felt Garrett's mouth on his neck again, slowly trailing down, leaving slightly humid spots, that were soon about to turn a livid color.

Andrew was dying for Garrett to just do something to him, something, whatever it was. Because he felt like he was about to die, and this time, not even his sweatpants soft fabric could comfort him from the pain of his erection.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of torture, Garrett asked him, "Can I take care of that?"

Andrew desperately wanted to reply sassily, to retort with a good _"took you long enough"_ , but he found absolutely no power to remark, so instead, he just whispered, "Please."

"Do you mind if I-"

"Do whatever you want, just- do it."  
He saw Garrett raise his eyebrows in astonishment and smile.  
Andrew realized at that point that Garrett enjoyed to hear him beg, to see him suffer.  
He wanted to be mad, he really wanted to, but instead, he found himself thinking it was just incredibly hot.

Oh, and Garrett did take care of that.

Andrew stopped functioning the moment he felt Garrett's mouth on his erection.  
His mind stopped working, his thoughts racing all over the place.  
He was sure he was making a fool of himself with all of the noises he was making.  
But at the moment, he didn't have the strength to care.  
Andrew didn't know it was possible to feel that good. Ever. Was sex ever meant to be that pleasing? Had he been living a lie, or was Garrett just great at it?

He had felt butterflies in his stomach whenever Garrett kissed him, but, what he was feeling at that moment, was completely different. He was sure the butterflies had been turned to ash.  
A fire was raging, nourished by lust and love.  
He felt a burning sensation one second, then a cold shiver.  
It was a game. Hot and cold. And Andrew was going insane.

"Garrett, I'm-" He tried to warn him about his orgasm coming soon, but Garrett didn't budge or move.  
And when he eventually came, Andrew thought he had transcended human nature.

He reached for Garrett's face with his shaking hands.  
After the fire had been extinguished, he craved for butterflies and sweetness again.  
He grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer to himself.  
Garrett's lips met his again, and he felt something different, unfamiliar.

It took him a second to realize why Garrett tasted different, and the moment he understood, an ever redder blush covered his cheeks.  
He felt his face flush and burn, and this time it wasn't because of the amazing blowjob he had just received, it was the embarrassment that came with the realization of what he was tasting on Garrett's lips.

"Are you okay?" He felt Garrett's soft words next to his ear.

"Fuck, Garrett, I- Never been better." 

Garrett chuckled softly, and this time Andrew couldn't even get mad. Because, when he turned around, he saw fondness in Garrett's eyes.

He saw Garrett about to leave when he said, "Where the hell you think you're going? We're not done here."

Andrew thought it wasn't fair Garrett got to be the better man in the situation. He was going to snap out of the bliss and repay him with the same coin. Or at least try to.

"You're still completely clothed, I don't like that."

"Andrew, are you sure?"

"Shut up and lay down."

Garrett chuckled and did as he was told.

Andrew gulped, he had absolutely no idea of what to do.  
He should have paid more attention to what Garrett had done to him, he thought bitterly.  
He was going to do this. He wanted it, he was sure. He was just scared he'd hurt Garrett, or that he'd do a bad job.  
He tried to remember what Shane told him, but his mind blanked.  
In the end, he decided to follow his gut.

Garrett, on the other hand, felt like he was stuck in a dream. The sweetest, ever.  
He knew how Andrew tasted, and he couldn't wrap his head around it. It was surprising. The fact that he had been able to even touch him, astonishing. He was euphoric.

Then Andrew asked, or rather, ordered him to lay down, and Garrett slightly feared. Not that he didn't trust Andrew, he trusted him with his life. But he remembered the embarrassment he felt the first time he had to give a blowjob. He was sure Andrew had way more sex experience than him as a teenager, but still. Would he freak out? Andrew had not told him if he had changed his mind on his sexuality, yet.  
Was it all just a trial?

Garrett's thoughts were interrupted by Andrew's hands on his pants. He couldn't help shifting uncomfortably.

"Garrett, wasn't I supposed to be the nervous one? Relax, please."

"Sorry," he chuckled, "you're right."

"If you don't want me to it's fine. I-"

"Andrew, you have no idea how many times- Nevermind."

"No, no. Now you tell me." Andrew mischievously smirked.  
"We have all the time in the world, right? That's what you said earlier."

Garrett nervously giggled, "Fuck you."

"You have thought about this, haven't you?"

"Yes, countless times."

Andrew blushed, he was out of words. He mentally slapped himself.  
He was trying to provoke Garrett, not to fluster himself.  
He needed to let go of whatever hope he had of dominance in their _whatever it was._

"Andrew, you okay?"

"Shush. Let me do this. I want to."

Garrett let him, and Andrew took off his pants.  
Andrew saw Garrett's eyebrows furrow a bit, and he assumed it was because he was self-conscious.

"Garrett, you're beautiful." Andrew meant it, completely, from the bottom of his heart. Garrett was perfect, he just wished he could see it as well.

Garrett smiled at him and was about to reply when something surprisingly stopped any word or coherent thought from leaving his lips.  
He felt Andrew's mouth on him and he was sure he was in heaven.  
Andrew's tongue was carefully working, slowly but surely sending Garrett shivers down his spine.

The boy wasn't bad, not at all.  
Andrew was a nervous starter, but definitely a quick learner.

Garrett tried his best not to move too much, even though the boy between his legs was making it hard to.

Andrew had to admit, besides the general nervousness and the performance anxiety, he didn't mind it. It was actually not half as bad as he had expected. He didn't know if it was because it was Garrett he was blowing, but he didn't really care.  
Besides, he finally felt in control, and Garrett was enjoying it. He could tell. What more could he ask for? Andrew was finally content with himself.

Andrew's ears were savouring the beautiful melody of moaning that filled the room. Though the concert didn't last very long.

"Andrew, I'm about to- you have to move, now."

Andrew breathed in, trying not to fuck up this time. He looked up at Garrett, and, with his dick still in his mouth, he said, "No."

It was too much for Garrett, and Andrew felt proud of himself.  
He had made him come, he had not gagged to death, and he had even swallowed. All on his first try.

"Not bad, huh?" Andrew joked as he climbed on top of him, his hands gripping on his shirt.

"Not bad?" Garrett panted, still recovering, "Andrew, you're a natural."

"Fuck off," he laughed, "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I am not! Fuck, Andrew, you're really good at this, I swear."

Andrew grinned, "I am glad."  
He leaned in, kissed his _lover_ , still tasting him on his own lips. 

"Garrett," He breathed out, resting his forehead on Garrett's.

Garrett just hummed.

"I love you."

Garrett smiled as he opened his eyes to look at Andrew.  
"Were you waiting for the perfect moment to say it?"

Andrew chuckled, "To be completely honest, yes."

"Then, it's perfect. I love you so much."  
Garrett wrapped one arm around Andrew and let him rest his head on his chest. With the other, he covered them both with his blanket.

Andrew smiled, left a small kiss on Garrett's chest and he felt one on his head, a sweet seal of a perfect night.  
He was exactly where he needed to be, cuddling his love, tasting honey, and breathing vanilla.


	23. Future and Pet Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not great, but i needed to get over my writer's block.  
> next one is going to be way better, and the fun will finally start ;)
> 
> enjoy!

The following week went by quickly, sweet, and domestic. Garrett and Andrew hadn't left the house at all, and weirdly enough, it had been Andrew's idea.

Garrett was starting to get slightly worried as days went by, Andrew loved staying in, sure, but the situation was getting out of hand.

Garrett looked back at the week that had just passed. Everything had changed between them.  
They had a lot of sex, and Garrett wasn't mad, not at all. Andrew was getting more and more confident each day. But, their relationship had progressed only sexually.  
Romantically speaking, they were still Andrew and Garrett, Garrett and Andrew. No labels added.

Maybe one label. Lover.  
That's what they were. And Garrett was a bit somber about it. It wasn't that he didn't like it, it just wasn't enough in his mind.  
The only label that they shared was a technical one, 'Lover' meant that Garrett and Andrew had sex, that's it.  
He wanted, he needed to be more for Andrew, but he wasn't sure how his _lover_ felt about it.

Garrett had promised himself he wouldn't have complained, reminding himself that some pieces of Andrew were better than nothing. But the more time passed, the more kisses shared, the more sleepless nights in Garrett's warm room, the more he longed for the remaining pieces of the redhead's heart.

Love was his puzzle, complicated for some, a breeze for everyone else. And he desperately wanted to finish assembling it.

Garrett didn't like to do things like the others. He never had.   
But, this time, Garrett wanted to be like the others. He wanted to have a proper relationship. He wanted a future with someone, get married, get a lot of pets.

But he also wanted Andrew. Frantically. Pathetically. Desperately. 

And he was terrified at the idea that Andrew wouldn't have reciprocated his dreams.  
The question he so ardently wanted to ask had been stuck his throat for a while.

It was easier when Garrett thought Andrew was straight. No chance, no hope. That's what he thought he had.   
At that moment, though, he knew Andrew loved him. But he still didn't know what his plans for them were, and he was pretty sure Andrew didn't know for himself either.

He tried not to think about the possibility of Andrew not sharing his vision for the future. They had talked about it, countless times, but that was different.  
Garrett wasn't a girl. He wasn't Andrew's ideal wife. He wasn't in Andrews's life-long plans.

He knew that at a certain point he had to choose. What did he want more: Andrew or his own dream life? Would he be able to let go of one or the other? 

He shook his head slightly, trying to get the worrying thoughts out of his head.

Suddenly, almost as a cue to interrupt his mind, Garrett heard Andrew's phone ring.

"Andrew," he whispered to the sleeping man on top of him.

"Andrew, love, your phone is ringing."

Andrew opened his eyes when he heard Garrett's soft voice.  
"Who is it?" He said weakly, sleep still holding him in his grasp.

"It's Shane."

Andrew furrowed his brows. Shane didn't really call him if not for emergencies, or work. And tired Andrew really hoped it was neither of the options.

"Hey." 

Garrett heard Andrew's side of the conversation.

"What, Shane?"

He saw Andrew roll his eyes, and he immediately relaxed. At least it wasn't an emergency.

Andrew, on the other hand, groaned as he hung up.

"What is it?"

"He wants me to go back for another couple of days. He says he has some footage we forgot to edit, and some that he hates so we gotta edit them all over again." Andrew threw himself back on the bed, his face buried in the pillow.

"Oh. I'm sorry, love, I know you're tired."

"Mhh." Andrew murmured, his voice stifled by the pillow. 

"Why don't you sleep for some more while I make you breakfast?"

Andrew mumbled, on the verge of falling asleep, words that Garrett could best interpret as 'Love you.'

Eventually, Andrew woke up as well and joined Garrett on the couch, gladly accepting the plate presented in front of him.

"When are you leaving, love?"

"Actually, I thought about going right now," Andrew admitted.

"Oh."

"The earlier I go, the earlier I finish. Right?"

"You're right, sweetheart."

Andrew looked up from his plate to smile at Garrett, "What's up with the pet names?"

Garrett squinted his eyes at him jokingly. "Do you mind?"

"No, of course not," Andrew reassured him.

"Would you rather I called you 'Bro'. No. 'Pal' maybe?"

Andrew laughed.

"No, wait. I have it."

"Let's hear it," Andrew said, a smile on his face, trying to hold in a laugh.

"Dude."

"Oh, fuck off." He couldn't hold the giggles in anymore.

Garrett gasped, "Andrew! You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"No, but I'll kiss you." Andrew leaned in and met Garrett's lips, never getting tired of the butterflies.   
"Besides, I prefer to be called 'Love'."

"Oh, you do?" Garrett rested his forehead against his.

"Yes. I still have to find a good one for you."  
Andrew tried to kiss Garrett again, but the other stopped him.

"Andrew, you have milk on your face." Garrett pointed out trying not to laugh.

"Lick it off, then." Andrew turned to face his lover with a playful smirk.

"Andrew!" Garrett laughed, and Andrew joined him.

"What's up with you?" Garrett asked with a loving smile on his face.

"I don't know. You make me this way." Andrew smirked at him.

"What? Horny?" Garrett replied making Andrew laugh.

"Happy."

Garrett's eyes widened a little, his smile reaching them.   
He put his plate down on the floor and reached for Andrew.   
He wrapped his arms around him, letting the smaller man lean against his chest.

Andrew loved being in Garrett's strong arms. It gave him tranquillity and a sense of security his life truly needed.  
Thoughts were rushing in his mind, trying to piece together a scenario he was happy with. He couldn't find it. He didn't know what he wanted, _yet_. Working with Shane? It was fulfilling, yes, but how long would it have lasted? Living with Garrett? Heaven, but how long until Garrett got tired of him? 

He looked up to find a pair of worried blue eyes staring down at him. He knew Garrett could read him like an open book. He had probably noticed Andrew was unsure, and the redhead was trying his best to come up with an answer he could give to him.

He smiled tentatively, hoping Garrett wouldn't ask anything.  
He wasn't ready, and Andrew hoped that their psychic connection could tell Garrett not to push him, yet.

"Is it okay if I drive you this time?"

"You don't have to-" Andrew was interrupted by Garrett's raised eyebrows. "But I'd love it if you did."

Garrett happily got up to change his clothes, and Andrew sat there, smiling. Only Garrett's lively words and humming filled the house.

"Andrew, did I tell you I made a new playlist?"

Andrew laughed and shook his head. Some things would never change.


	24. Suspicion and Noisiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another one of the transitional ones that suck a little, sorry.
> 
> but sub-plot's need to start somewhere right?
> 
> :)
> 
> enjoy!

A few days later, Andrew was already suffering from home-sickness, or rather, Garrett-sickness. Then the days became a week, and Andrew started to be as sexually frustrated as he had never been before.

It was late in the night, everyone was asleep except for Andrew and Cheeto, who was keeping him company, and, frankly, keeping him sane as well.  
Andrew enjoyed animals, he loved pets, and he started wondering if he would ever have one himself. Would Garrett prefer a dog or a cat?

 _Wait._  
He laughed at himself, he was getting quite carried away.

He looked through his social media, noticing fans were complaining of the lack of new content from them.  
_Oh, if they only knew._

Andrew hoped the new series would make them happy because he did actually care about what they thought. Besides, a few comments were what made him realize he had buried his feelings for his friend anyway. He owed it to them.

He just hoped that in a few weeks from that night, he could be equally as grateful for them.

Andrew saw his phone lit up, distracting him from his thought. 

**I miss you. Our bed feels cold without you.**

**Don't, please. It's already hard enough :(**

**Sorry, love :.-) Didn't expect to see you up this late.**

**Why are you still awake???  
Go to sleep!**

**Can't sleep.  
You're awake too you know???**

**Shush :P  
I can't sleep either. I miss you.  
When is your spirit coming to get me?**

**It got offended at your rejection. ;-)**

**:(**

**Goodnight, Andrew, go to sleep!**

**You too  
I'm serious**

Andrew smiled at the phone and headed to sleep, Garrett still present in his mind. He missed him. A lot. And it felt slightly pathetic, but he didn't really care.  
There was something in his mind, something he didn't recognize, that told him to make the most of their time together, every day.

Andrew was quite uneasy because of that particular feeling, but no matter how much deep breathing he did, a veil of anxiety hovered in his mind, accompanied by an unconventional sense of urgency, he couldn't quite place.

The next day he woke up to a text. 

**Tell Shane to open up :P**

Andrew jumped out of bed and ran only to find Shane already greeting Garrett.  
It took the smaller man all of his will power not to jump on the other to kiss him.

"Hi, Garrett."

"Hey, Shane."

Andrew eyed the other redhead in the room, was there something wrong between them?

"So, I'll leave you two together. Nice seeing you, Garr. You should come and visit more often."

"Sure."

With that, Shane left, and Andrew looked over at Garrett for an explanation.

"He seemed weird, right? I am not imagining it," Garrett asked.

"I was about to ask what happened..." Andrew admitted.

"I don't know, and I don't care. At this point, I only care about reclaiming a kiss from a certain someone, who is now standing in front of me." Garrett stepped closer.

Andrew laughed. "Wait. I know. Let's go outside."

"Wait, why?"

Garrett followed him outside, and Andrew took him behind a shed. Apparently, according to Andrew, that was the only place that wasn't covered by cameras.

"Shouldn't you tell Shane that there's a hidden spot that no one has ever noticed?"

"I will after you blow me."

"Andrew!" Garrett laughed.

"So deal?"

"Deal, baby."

xxx

It was soon time for Garrett to leave. Shane had asked him to stay for lunch but the taller man had excused himself.

"Thank you, Shane, but I have plans already."

"Plans?" Andrew and Shane asked at the same time, then proceeded to look at each other, the first curiously, the latter a bit embarrassed.

Garrett didn't seem to notice as he replied. "Yeah, Micheal is in town for a few hours and we haven't hung out in forever."

Andrew smiled at him and said, "Say hi to him from me."

"I sure will. He wanted you to come along but I told him you couldn't. Because you can't, can you?" Garrett added the last part with hopeful, puppy eyes.

"Andrew and I have a lot of work to do," Shane answered for Andrew, who furrowed his eyes a little, looking at the speaker.

"Yeah... Sorry _love_. It will be for another time." Andrew didn't know why he felt the need to underline the pet name in front of Shane. Andrew felt a bit silly for the possessiveness he felt running through his mind, but he couldn't help it.

It still lingered in his mind. _"I still remember them very well. That boy has a gift."_

Andrew's mind had been blocking the bad intrusive thoughts about Garrett and Shane. A few had slipped through a few times, but he tried his best to let them go.

Shane looked distressed at the sight of him and Garrett, but it was a new detail Andrew had noticed, and he was unsure if he should have had asked Shane about it.

xxx

"You and Garrett looked very _in love_ earlier."

"Thanks?" Andrew chuckled. It was late night again, and Shane had forced him to take a break again. They were sitting on the couch, looking for Youtube videos to watch.

"Do you need to tell me anything?"

"What do you mean?" Andrew looked everywhere else but Shane.

And it was everything Shane needed to see to understand.  
"You did it!"

Andrew chuckled nervously, and Shane needed no more words from him.

"Andrew! You promised you'd tell me."

Andrew's anxiety started rising again.  
Shane kept asking questions, and Andrew didn't know how to feel about them.

Andrew furrowed his brows and squinted his eyes. He definitely wasn't comfortable talking about his sex-life with Shane, but he still wasn't sure why.  
Ok, maybe he knew why. He didn't mind talking about sex with Shane, what he felt comfortable talking to him about, was Garrett.  
The man in front of him seemed way too interested in the topic, and Andrew felt slightly uneasy. 

He had already been doubtful about the entire situation, and Shane's noisiness didn't make it better.

Then he asked one question that incredibly upset Andrew. 

"How was it?"

"Umh. Amazing?" What kind of question was that? Why did he care? Why was Andrew so mad anyway? He had asked Shane tips the other night. In the back of his mind, it made sense. But his rationality was nowhere to be seen when it came to his feelings for Garrett.

"You don't seem so sure."

"No, I am! It's just-"

"Shane, can we talk for a second?" Ryland chimed in, and Andrew was grateful for his intervention. 

The couple left Andrew alone in front of the couch to talk in private, but they didn't move far away enough, and Andrew could still hear them. He tried his best to listen to the conversation without getting caught.  
He wasn't a noisy person, usually, but this time he was sure the two were talking about him.

"Why do you really care so much, Shane?" He heard Ryland ask.

"What-"

"You've been doing nothing but prying in their relationship. Shane, what is happening to you?"

"I am just-"

"Let me guess, worried?"

"I am sorry. I'll start minding my own business. I am just concerned. Garrett is very weird when it comes to relationships. And Andrew isn't used to all of that."

"What do you mean weird?"

"I don't remember the last time Garrett had an actual boyfriend. He dates people for a while, but then he just vanishes. I know Andrew's different. I know he really cares about him, but I am afraid. I-"

"Shane, they're adults. Leave them deal with their own things."

"You're right. I am sorry."

Andrew breathed out. He didn't know why it bothered him so much, but it did. Thinking about it, he wasn't mad at Shane. Andrew was worried. He shared the doubt Shane had. It had been lingering in the back of his mind. He was scared Garrett would just leave. 

Perhaps that was the reason he had been acting so clingy. Andrew didn't recognize the person he had been that past week, and it frightened him.

What he was sure he knew, though, was that he really needed to talk to Garrett about it.


	25. Breaks and Boyfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised, so here it is!  
> as always, enjoy :)

"I need to go, Shane."

Shane looked up from his computer to find Andrew standing in front of him. He looked at Andrew's determined eyes, which he recognized from the time Andrew had scolded him for not caring enough about Garrett, which Shane still found very ironic and kind of relieving.

"You heard us," he stated, not doubting for a second he was right.

Andrew nodded and asked, "Can I go now? I finished with the editing, and I am sure you will text me if there's anything wrong with it."

"What if I said no?"

"Then you'd confirm my doubts, Shane."

"What doubts?"

"I need to talk to Garrett now. Can I leave?"

"It's late."

"I don't care."

Shane sighed, defeated. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Andrew just nodded and left, no words added. He was glad he kept his mouth shut. He wasn't sure he would have been able to control himself if he hadn't.

xxx

"Andrew? It's the middle of the night. What are you doing? Did something happen?"

"We need to talk."

"Ouch," Garrett chuckled and let Andrew in as he adjusted his glasses. "Must be important if you couldn't wait till tomorrow, and if you convinced Shane to let you-"

"I think we should discuss us." Andrew blurted out, without thinking too much about it.

"Us?" Garrett's breath hitched. Andrew sounded way too cold and unemotional for it to be what Garrett hoped.

"Yes, I was thinking that maybe we rushed into this. Perhaps we should have just stayed friends."

"What?" Garrett couldn't keep his mouth shut, "Are you listening to what you're saying, Andrew?" He raised his voice. He couldn't help it. Why had he changed his mind? It made no sense.

"I need- Maybe-" Andrew couldn't look at Garrett, "Perhaps we should take a break."

"A break?" Garrett repeated, shaken, and clearly hurt. "We're not even together, for fuck's sake!"

"That's the fucking problem!" Andrew cried. He lost his cool. He had tried to act calm and focused, to pretend his mind wasn't screaming at his heart to stop beating so fast. And he had failed.

Garrett stopped in his tracks before he could reply, he saw Andrew bite his trembling lip. His eyes softened. He hadn't meant to raise his voice. He was just afraid, scared Andrew would leave him, and there it was, in front of him, his nightmare.

"I just- Garrett, I don't-" the taller man's heart broke when he saw the love of his life cry, in front of him, _because_ of him.  
But what Andrew said next destroyed his heart even further. 

"I don't wanna be like the others."

With his heart turned to dust, Garrett stepped closer, cupped Andrew's face with his hands, and looked at him in his glossed eyes. He didn't say a word. Instead, he let the crying man speak, conceding him all the time he needed.

"I don't want you to leave me. So I thought maybe if I left first-" Andrew's sobs stopped him from finishing his sentence, but Garrett didn't need, or rather, couldn't listen to his words anymore.

"Andrew, love, I won't leave. Why did that even cross your mind?"

"Shane said-" Andrew bit his tongue, he wasn't supposed to bring his boss into this, not yet at least.

"What did Shane say?" Garrett asked, his voice curious.

Andrew froze, he couldn't possibly have told Garrett what Shane had implied on accident.

"Andrew, what did Shane tell you?" Garrett's voice was stern, rigid.

"He didn't tell me anything," Andrew admitted, "But I heard him tell Ryland that he's worried about you leaving me and breaking my heart. And I guess since I've been worrying about that too..."

"Love, you need to worry about nothing! I already told you, and I meant it. I love you."

"I know, but try to understand me. How many times have I listened to you ramble about a crush which you believed you'd marry, and which the next day you totally forgot?" Andrew dared to chuckle at the last part.

Garrett laughed as well. "But Andrew, you're not like the others. You're the light of my life, you're the reason I even try. This-" He gestured at his clean house, "this is all because of you. You pushed me in the right direction because you know me. You know me better than I know myself. And you're my best friend. Why would I ever want to lay my eyes on anyone else?"  
Garrett cupped Andrew's cheeks again, forcing the redhead to look at him. He rested his forehead on Andrew's, gently brushing their noses together.  
"You're my everything. I wish you could see that."

"I do," Andrew breathed out. "I am sorry. I freaked out, and I honestly don't know why."

"So, do you still want the break?" Garrett asked sarcastically, causing Andrew to giggle.

"You were right about one thing earlier."

Garrett raised an eyebrow at Andrew's statement.

"We can't have a break if we're not a thing, so... You know what to do. Ask me."

"Oh, right." Garrett laughed, before clearing his voice, "Andrew Siwicki, what do you want me to be to you? What will make you happy?"

"Be my boyfriend, Garrett Watts." Their eye contact deepened, and Andrew could hear his heart beating in his ears.

Garrett, on the other hand, couldn't keep a smile from taking over, blinding Andrew with the sincere affection it carried.

"That's a label," Garrett stated.

"Yes, and it took me a while, but I think I am ready for this label at least. And trust me, I've had a lot of time to think this past week."

Garrett laughed and left a single chaste kiss on Andrew's lips.  
"Ok, boyfriend."

"Nuh, huh." Andrew chuckled, "I still want you to call me love."

"Fine, you call me boyfriend, then."

"Fine, boyfriend," Andrew replied almost rushedly.

"Jesus, we're so cheesy."

"Oh, but you love it."

"I love _you._ "

"I love you, too."

A passionate kiss was everything Andrew needed to be swept off his feet. He had missed Garrett's lips on his, and the feel of his hair gently scratching his chin and being held by strong arms.  
And Garrett's taste, and his scent. And honey, and vanilla.

"Wait, Andrew." Garrett stopped the kiss to breathe. "Are we fully okay? I don't want this to bother you anymore."

"Yes, I think so." Andrew couldn't even convince himself.

"'I think so' is not good enough, Andrew. Sit down, let's talk."

"Garrett, do we have to do this right now? It's late."

"Shush," he patted the couch right next to where he was sitting, "There's nothing else I'd rather do right now than make you feel loved and cared for like you deserve to."

"Nothing?" Andrew asked with a grin.

"Don't ruin this," Garrett warned playfully, making Andrew laugh.

"Ok, so, have you talked to Shane about us? Why was he talking to Ryland about me?"

"Honestly, no. He's been asking a lot of questions, but I didn't feel too comfortable telling him anything. Then I heard him say that he didn't remember the last time you've had a boyfriend and something kind of clicked in my brain."

Garrett furrowed his brows and looked at his hands, Andrew recognized his expression, he was trying to figure out something, and whatever it was, it didn't take long, because he heard Garrett breath in and saw his eyes widen.

"I can't believe this, why would he say that?"

"Garrett?"

"Shane asked me why I hadn't been dating anyone lately when we made up."

"And what did you tell him?"

"That it was because I was in love with you."

"Oh," Andrew breathed out. He met Garrett's shocked eyes, he recognized disappointment at first, then pure fear.

"Why would Shane say that, if he knew how I felt about you?"

"I don't know, Garr..." Andrew put his hand on Garrett's shoulder, leaning on his side, "But, now we are ok, right? I trust you, I love you, and I trust that you love me. That's all that matters, right?"  
Andrew saw Garrett bite his lip and added, "Maybe now's not the best time, we can talk about this tomorrow. I swear we'll figure it out."

Garrett nodded and gave him a small smile, "You're right. Let's get you to bed, it's really late."

"Carry me?" Andrew joked, then gasped when Garrett actually got up and grabbed him. Andrew didn't think he had the strength to pick him up, but, apparently, he did.

"Sure, _princess,_ " Garrett said, causing Andrew to bury his face in Garrett's chest, and making him feel very grateful that the taller man couldn't see the bright blush hugging his cheeks.


	26. Exes and Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back!! 
> 
> very few chapters left of this fic, but a short sequel is in the works, so don't panic! :)
> 
> i will explain more in the last chapter, for now, enjoy this one!
> 
> or maybe not ;)

Andrew woke up in Garrett's arms, as per usual.  
What was unusual, though, was the fact that, when he looked up, Garrett was already awake, hand under his head, his glasses already on, his eyes steady on the ceiling, a sigh softly leaving his lips.

Andrew reached to give him a kiss on the cheek, and finally, he saw the smile he so desperately loved, though it didn't last quite as long as he had wished.

"Are you still thinking about it?" 

"Why did he say that, Andrew? It makes no sense. Maybe he forgot?"

Andrew almost smiled at the last question. Could he really have told Garrett what he thought about Shane? It would have meant ruining a friendship, a friendship Garrett was so attached to.  
Was it selfish, wanting to tell the truth?

"What do you think, love?"

"I- I'd rather not-"

"Andrew."

"I think Shane might want us to break up."

"Why would he want that? He tried so hard to set us up."

"I know, but- You know what, you're right. It's dumb."

"No, Andrew! Nothing you ever say is dumb! Please, tell me."

"I think he may still have feelings for you, if he's lying to Ryland and me, then that should mean something, right? He's just been asking and asking, to the point when it's getting frustrating to even mention you!" Andrew finally let go of his repressed rage. "Garrett this, Garrett that! I don't need Shane to tell me how great you look or how sweet you are, or especially how great you are at kissing!"

"Wait, what?"

"He mentioned how he remembers every detail of everything you two ever did together, and sometimes it's frustrating!"

"Wow, love," Garrett laughed, "a lot of repressed rage there?"

"Sorry, baby. It's just that I don't want this to ruin us."

"I doubt Shane has any feelings for me. Even if he does, honestly, that's his problem. I don't care about anything else other than us, right now."

Garrett grabbed Andrew's chin and smiled at his pretty boy.  
He tried to shove back down his gut the bad feeling he felt rising, it was hard, but Garrett didn't want to upset Andrew further.  
He thought about how Andrew had acted the night before.

_"I don't want to be like the others."_

Andrew had not meant the casual dates he had, his boyfriend knew those never mattered anyway because he had been there, every time he had complained about not liking the dates he went out with.  
Every Saturday night, as a tradition, right in between the date with one dude Friday night, and the other, with another man on Sunday.

Andrew meant Shane. Because Shane acted as if they had been in love, while Garrett never thought of it as anything else other than a few kisses.  
Which apparently, Shane had expressed his appreciation for a few times.  
He really hoped his friend didn't actually feel anything for him. 

Most of all, he wished he could ease all of his handsome boyfriend's worries.  
He rested his forehead on Andrew's, looking at his lovely, affectionate, chocolate eyes.

"It's you and me. Okay?"

"Okay." Andrew's smile was sincere and sweet, as always. "But, perhaps, you should talk to Shane," Andrew suggested, looking up at him, serenity in his voice.

"I don't think I want to right now," Garrett admitted with a whisper.

"Whatever you want, baby." Andrew buried his face in Garrett's embrace, breathing in Garrett's scent. 

For now, it was just Garrett and Andrew, Andrew and Garrett.

xxx

Andrew, on the other hand, had to go talk to Shane, he couldn't wait, it was driving him insane, though he fully respected Garrett's decision of not wanting to see his friend. Or better, he felt very relieved that his boyfriend didn't want to see his ex, who was probably still crushing on him.

It would have ended up in a disaster if he had.

"Are you alright?" Shane asked as soon as he saw Andrew.

"Yeah."

"I meant with Garrett."

"Yeah, Shane. We're together now."

Andrew was surprised to see a small smile creep on Shane's lips.

"You must be so disappointed." He still managed to say, trying to contain his frustration.

"What?" Shane's voice was surprised, taken aback.

"Considering you almost ruined everything."

"Andrew?"

"Why did you lie, Shane? You knew why Garrett hasn't dated anyone in a long time."

"I didn't mean to lie to you."

"Why did you lie to Ryland then?"

Silence. It was getting unnerving. Andrew wanted to scream. He had almost broken up with Garrett over this, even before dating officially. He demanded answers.

"If you don't want to tell me, perhaps I will."

Shane gave him a confused look, furrowing his brows and pushing his chin back.

"You love Garrett."

"Of course I do, he's my best friend."

"That's not what I mean."

"No, Andrew. You're wrong. I am in a happy relationship."

"Yeah, that's why you have to lie to your boyfriend to make him believe you don't have a crush on your best friend."

"It's not what you think."

"Then what is it, Shane?"

"I don't want you two to fall apart. I don't want you to get your heart broken. I really want you to be happy. But Ryland has been taking it the wrong way. Thinking that me prying into your relationship has something to do with jealousy."

"Ryland and I both, Shane."

"Not you, too. Come on! I swear it has nothing to do with me. I pushed Garrett to talk to you!"

"I see why Ryland is jealous now, I really do. I get it, Shane, you did all you could to set me up with Garrett because you knew that was the best thing for him. You saw that this turned out great, but, instead of being happy, you realized you're jealous. That's why you have to make up lies to tell your boyfriend to convince him that you don't still have feelings for Garrett. It's because you're not convinced yourself."

"Andrew, what I do with my relationship is none of your business."

"Great. So stop minding my business as well."

Shane sighed. "I am sorry, Andrew. It really came from a place of concern. I am glad you two found each other. No matter my feelings."

"I want to believe you, Shane."

"Then believe me."

"Will you talk to Ryland?"

"I already did, last night. He thinks it's best if I distance myself from Garrett for a while. Until Ryland can be completely sure that there were no bad intentions or any feelings involved in all of this situation."

"I agree, completely."

Shane sighed and thought about what to say for a while before asking, "Are we good Andrew?"

"If you stay away from Garrett until you've figured out your own shit, then we are." There wasn't rage in Andrew's voice anymore, but sternness.

"Deal," Shane said, offering his hand and a playful smile.

"Deal." Andrew reciprocated.   
"Is it okay if I come back on Monday? For work."

Shane gave him another smile. "Sure, but can you please apologize to him on my behalf? Knowing Garrett, he probably doesn't want to see me at all."

Andrew chuckled, Shane really did know Garrett well. "I will."

"Thank you, Andrew. See you on Monday?"

"See you on Monday."

With that, Andrew left, not exactly happy, but definitely less angry. At least Shane was aware of the issue.  
Andrew breathed in, the fresh spring air filling his lungs with hope.   
Everything would go back to normal one day, everything would be alright again. He was sure.


	27. Dates and Propositions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last one, before you read:
> 
> thank you. to everyone who read. to everyone who left kudos. to everyone who commented.  
> your support kept this fic going even when i almost deleted this out of frustration a few times!
> 
> this one's for you
> 
> (see the end notes for exciting info!)
> 
> for the last time,
> 
> enjoy :)

Garrett sighed loudly, grasping the attention of his boyfriend sitting next to him, with his head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I just realized we've not been on a date, yet."

Andrew bit his bottom lip and furrowed his brows, now that he thought about it, he realized they hadn't.

"Oh, I didn't even think about that."

"Where do you want to go? I was horrible enough that I forgot to ask you out properly, so you get to choose."

"You're acting like this is a big deal." Andrew chuckled.

"Because it is, Andrew!" Garrett dragged his name out. 

The redhead laughed, "Fine, fine."

"Do you want to go out for dinner?"

"Like to a fancy place?"

"Yeah."

"God, no." Andrew cackled.

"Why not?"

"Garrett, have you seen us?" Andrew laughed again. "You know we're not the fancy restaurant type."

"Oh, yeah - " Garrett chuckled "- it would be kinda like that one iCarly episode."

"Like what?"

"Ah, don't worry about it!" Garrett laughed before gasping dramatically.

"What?" 

"I just had the best idea ever!"

Andrew raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Do you wanna share?"

"No, it'll be a surprise."

"Garrett..." He whined.

"No, Andrew! You'll love it."

And Garrett was right, as usual.

As soon as the sun started to set, Andrew was dragged outside, bandana over his eyes. 

"Wait, can I at least dress a bit nicer?"

"You're perfect just the way you are, besides my hoodie suits you."

"I feel bad. You have one hoodie, and I already claimed it."

"You can keep it."

"Maybe I could give you one of my hoodies if you want."

"Love, you know they won't fit," Garrett joked with a chuckle from behind Andrew, gently pushing him outside the door, hands firm on his shoulders.

Andrew started flailing his arms around, still blindfolded, trying to hit Garrett's arm.  
"Stop saying that! You can bet your ass they'll fit."

"How can I bet something that you already own?"

"Jesus - Andrew cackled- I changed my mind. I want that break." 

"Too late now. Besides, you can't break up with me without going at least on one date first."

"Garrett, you're killing me. Where the hell are we going?"

"Oh, stop complaining," Garrett said as he started untying the bandana, "it was a short trip anyway."

Andrew chuckled as he opened his eyes, only to fight back a gasp at the sight of what was in front of him.

"Garrett..." Andrew couldn't believe it.

His boyfriend had assembled a little night picnic ensemble right in his garden.  
Andrew stepped closer. Garrett had hung up some lights on the wooden fence that divided his house from the neighbors. It reminded him of the Malaga Inn.

"This is beautiful."

It truly was. Candles and small figurines everywhere. Their unicorn in the center of the white sheet on the ground.

As a spur-of-the-moment, he turned around, grabbing Garrett's cheeks, and kissed him, with all the love and gratitude he stored in his heart.

"You like it?"

"I love it."

"Wait, let me go get the food. I'll be right back."

Andrew sat down on the fabric-covered grass. He looked up and smiled. The few stars LA granted were starting to appear in the sky.

His heart was full. Gratitude. Love. Admiration. Affection.

"Hope you're hungry."

Andrew gasped, "Pizza rolls?"

"I know, I know. You love me and all."

"Yeah, yeah, very that. Now, gimme my food!" Andrew reached for his so cherished dinner.

Garrett couldn't help but laugh. 

The evening was perfect, Andrew wouldn't have changed it for anything else in the entire world, even though Garrett insisted on apologizing for the small space.

Soft music was coming from Garrett's phone, as to not disturb anyone.  
Andrew was leaning on Garrett's chest, sitting between his legs, neck comfortably resting on his shoulder.

"Garrett?" 

"Hmm," Garrett's lips were buried on the top of his head, among the curls that had started growing out.

"Do you want me to quit?"

Garrett's breath hitched, "Andrew, you're your own person. I can't force you to do anything. Besides, it's clear as day that you love what you do. What kind of boyfriend would I be?"

"You're so selfless and loving. I just don't want you to hurt because of me." Andrew's heart pained at the sole thought.

"It would hurt more to know I am taking you away from your own life."

"Will you tell me if it ever hurts too much?"

"Of course."  
_A lie._  
A smile.  
A kiss.

"If we're sitting on your clean bedsheet, how the hell are we going to sleep tonight?"

Garrett giggled. "I bought new ones, so you can stop complaining about sleeping on a top sheet."

"I complained, like, once," Andrew scoffed.

"And that's one too many times," Garrett said before gently pushing Andrew to get up.

"Where are you going?"

Garrett offered his hand to Andrew, who didn't hesitate to take it and get up as well.  
He heard the music change. James Blake's new song, obviously. 

"Dance with me?"

Andrew couldn't contain the smile threatening to appear on his lips.  
He took Garrett's offering hand again, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around his neck.

"This song is yours, Garrett."

"Is it?"

_I don't think they deserve you  
I don't think anyone could  
I'd take the calls you don't want to  
I'd take the hair in your food_

Andrew rested his cheek on Garrett's shoulder burying his face in his neck, softly brushing his neck as he spoke, "You _are_ too precious."

"God, Andrew," Garrett breathed out, "I love you so much."

"Garrett?" Andrew raised his head to look at him, surprised by the tone of his voice, breathless, exhausted.

"Sorry, that was way too emotional." He offered a smile. "I am just so happy that you're here with me. It still feels like a dream."

"I'm in love you."

The world stopped for a moment, right as another song started playing. Andrew's heart pained at the memory it held.

_I'm fallin' again  
I'm fallin' again  
I'm fallin'_

But, as he looked at his lover's eyes, Andrew realized he had stopped falling. He had planted face down, fallen for his best friend.  
He still didn't know how it had happened, but he didn't feel the need to find out.  
He felt high, on life, on love, on the addicting knowledge that someone cared for him, so deeply, so intensely. 

"Andrew?" Garrett had noticed his distressed look.

"Sorry, this song makes _me_ emotional."

"Love..."

_And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again_

Andrew tightened his grip on Garrett, lips brushing on his neck.  
"Be the other half of me, forever. I need you to."

"You already are whole, Andrew. You don't need me."

Andrew looked at his boyfriend in his eyes, his gaze intense, his eyes determined.  
He was surprised and shaken by his words. He had always felt like he needed love, he needed affection to be happy, but with Garrett it was different. He needed him to carry on, to live, to survive.  
Though, at the moment, he failed to find the motivation or a reason to challenge his argument.

"Okay, then. How about I _want_ you?"

"That's better. I like that." Garrett pressed his lips on Andrew's forehead.

"Can I ask you something I've been dying to know?"

"Of course, my love, anything."

"If the circumstances had been different, would you have ever accepted Jeffree's offer?"

Garrett retracted his chin, visibly cringing. "God, no."

"Not your type?" Andrew joked.

"Nope, not at all."

"What's your type then?"

"I thought we discussed this already?" Garrett smirked. "You, Andrew Siwicki. You're my type."

"Oh, shut up." Andrew hid his blushed cheeks in Garrett's neck. 

"You're so cute when you blush, my tomato boy."

Andrew burst into a fit of giggles. "Never say that again."  
"Besides, how long do you want to keep dancing for?"

"Are you tired already, Siwicki? The night is still young."

"Did you just quote Nicki Minaj?"

"What?" Garrett laughed, clearly confused. "No, it's a popular phrase, Andrew!"

"Sorry, sorry. I never intended to offend your music taste."

"Well, I expect the ultimate respect from someone who listens to Justin Bieber unironically."

"I thought you were against music-shaming?"

"Yeah, but I love messing with you. It's satisfying seeing you both blushing and grumpy."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Yeah, I do."

Andrew tightened his grip around Garrett, never wanting to let go.

"Move in with me."

Andrew's heart skipped a beat.  
"Have I not already?" He tried to laugh it off.

"I mean properly."

"You mean toothbrush-in-your-sink properly?"

"I mean spare-key properly."

"Oh."

"You don't have to, but it would be nice if you did."

"Of course I will. You'll never get rid of me."

"I don't want to, ever."

Garrett looked at him with those eyes he couldn't resist, soft and full of love. The kind of gaze he would never get tired of.  
And he leaned in, kissing him softly, yet passionately.  
He would never get tired of that spark, of the flame that it provoked, that burned his guts.

Something, a feeling, a realization, told him that, between them, it would last and that it would never get boring.  
Garrett had brought nothing but fun, happiness, and love in Andrew's life. And the redhead couldn't have been more grateful.

"I'll move in under one condition."

"I'm all ears."

"You have to buy a new bed."

"No, I don't."

"Garrett!"

" _We_ do."

Andrew sighed loudly, "You're so cheesy."

"Awe, you're blushing again!"

"Shut up. So deal?"

"Whatever you want, princess. Though I don't understand. What's wrong with the bed?"

"It makes too many noises, and I think it's also broken."

"Oh, yeah." Garrett nodded casually. "Perhaps I shouldn't have fucked you so hard last night."

_"Garrett!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end :.) 
> 
> thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> **songs mentioned:**
> 
> "you're too precious" - james blake  
> "falling" - harry styles
> 
> now to the good news: this fic WILL have a sequel!
> 
> it'll be coming shortly, it's already planned out, it will be shorter but definitely more intense.  
> i am sure you'll love it ;)
> 
> for any question, or if you just want to talk to me, my twitter is the same as my ao3 (@emeraldsapphic + second acc @emeraldwatts) and my tumblr is @emeraldwatts!
> 
> love you, be safe ♡


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